The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Morning everyone. I hope everyone has a good day today. Im off work, and alone. Im really struggling. I cant eat really. It sounds stupid, but Im really having a hard time. I try to eat, but I cant seem to finish anything. I just gag. Everything is too much. I know not eating wont fix anything or make it all go away. I dont blame him for it or anything. I know it just makes my body system weak, which makes things harder to deal with. Makes everything harder to deal with. Ive never felt grief like this before, and ai dont understand it. It weird cause I was more happy with him, than without. But in the most messed up ways. Its like my operating system was installed backwards. Im so frustrated with myself, and all I have to learn to be a better person...and I cant even feed mmyself pproperly. Going to another meeting tonight. Ok...enough rambling. Thank you.
Yes it will stop .. eat what you can and just make sure to eat something. For a few weeks probably about 6 or so my body was up at 230am .. ugh ugh ugh .. it was awful .. I think I slept for 3 - 4 hours a night and I need more. I decided after a couple of days that I was just going to get up and DO something. So I wound up cleaning the house and getting a lot accomplished which made me feel better. I read my alanon lit or other self help books. I even caught a couple of movies on the tv. I knew if I went back to sleep that I wasn't going to do anything except allow my mind to spin. For a few weeks I think I lived on caffeine as well, what I would do is listen to my body .. I did eat what I knew I could .. so if it was just a banana for breakfast that's what I had, a piece of toast, whatever it was .. fruit for me is a big comfort food. It was more important that I be gentle with myself and just know this to shall pass, .. because it did. I'm sleeping better than I have in years. I am also not in a horrible mess around the house that's pretty big for me. I've got some small big messes I need to address that will happen. I'm trying to focus on my eating now .. making sure I"m eating better and so on.
So yes, .. it does get better and it is going to take time there is no instant fix to dealing with emotional stuff we go through. Hang in there, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
My sister is having the same problem, her husband left her in March for other women(not just one). He is is a sex addict and has since lost his job and his car(due to irreparable repairs on the engine). My sister had the gaggy thing going on but also felt like her throat was closing every time she ate. Things are getting better as time moves on for her. She drinks protein drinks and eats applesauce in small bites. She is attending Al Anon and a support group at her church.
Can you get down a multivitamin? I would try to drink protein drinks and/or smoothies throughout the day. Stick with foods like yogurt, chicken soup or broth based soups, and mashed fruit or applesauce. I know it's hard, I talk to my sister daily and she's seen tons of doctors and all they tell her is that it's anxiety. Hang in there, we will be here for you!
Its all a process and it takes time. When I finally parted with the A, after 26 years I had finally had it and still it was like withdrawal. Also we had parted twice before that.
By that time I had a lot of Alanon and practice. Just make sure you have a lot of support by going to as many meetings as you can and if you dont have one by now, this is where a sponsor will be your life support.
Please keep coming back and dont give up! Your far better than you think you are. Best to you. Hugs, Bettina
Thank you everyone. :) While I dont have an appetite, my cats do. I had to go get more cat food, so that meant a trip to the store. I feel hungry, but cant get much down. So, I just let stomach impulse shop and got protein shakes. I just ate most of some chef boyardee haha. If I eat once more, go to a mtg, and take out the trash...thatll be a good day, I think. Love and light.
