The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been pretty busy with stuff and havent been around much. I have been reading though. I have spent most of my time on the ACA board when i have been here
Reading here sometimes gives me a sense of peace. I love the ACA board and i really wish more people would join us to share this peace from the alanon boards as there is such a crossover.
I read jerry's posts, pinkchip, ild, gailmichelle, just to name a few and i am somewhat grounded.
I notice lots of names missing from when i started and i wonder how they are going now.
I have thought about giving alanon a break as my husband isnt using at the moment, but then i get all worked up and find i come back and i get a shot of 'calm' from reading. Its like a reminder booster shot
I have recently found myself checking up on him again and monitoring his pot drawer (no use recently) and wonder why i am doing that????
Stress valve??? It creates stress for me. As ironic as nicotine to relax me. (exsmoker)
I teach alcohol and drug education to health professionals, last week inhad a guest speaker from AA for the first time. They loved it and applauded.
Inhad to leave the room. I felt the resentment rise and wanted to cry. He was a lovely man but for some reason i coildnt see the recovered AA member, i saw the dad that was a 'terrible father' (his wirds) and he was being applauded!!!!
Ok, enuf of that
Im here today and reading and trying to be a better me
LOL .. I've heard it referred to as "I'm leaking!! So I have to keep coming back!"
Hugs Oksie,
After living with the insanity for so long it just is so hard to have things go well .. I always feel in a space of waiting for the shoe to drop when things become to good. I think it's just because it has been so crazy for so long. I feel like I need to keep looking behind me even when I don't really. It does get easier with time. Letting go of old habits that made us feel safe is hard to change .. it's so worth it!!
Good to see you back,
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
sorry for the above typo's. I was on my iphone when I did that post.
Thanks for the reply's.
I have been posting on the ACA board but not as much as I normally do.
I will be able to access the board next week, but the week after that is crazy again.... I go away with work for a week... really really can't say really enough... how much I am NOT looking forward to that.
Its that abandonment stuff and I really (again) hate travelling for work.
In past relationships we have both been employment travellers and I worked out one year we were actually in the house together for about 3 or 4 months of the year. Interspersed separations accumulated to that anyway. I feel I have done my time travelling for work (different job now), but I guess its part of what I do and I have to just get used to it. I would be fully comfortable if hubby were coming with me, but we can't afford him to take the time off work and there is no one to look after the animals either. It doesn't bother him at all, but it bothers me ALOT. I am employing DBT and CBT skills andd handing it over and understanding I have no control over what happens when I am away etc etc....
It will be all over in a few weeks.
As soon as I get back I am helping a friend with her wedding and then hubby goes away fishing as its a long weekend here. More money we can't afford but he loves it.
Anyway.... I am here to read and get a dose of calm.
I have been on these boards for 10 months now. I feel good and happy and calmer by 200% since I came here... its just that separation thing.....
Glad to hear how you are doing. For me there is no primary alcoholic in my life there's just dealing with life on lifes' terms.
Today I reached out to someone and put the issues I am dealing with at work on the table and I felt better about it. I have reached my limit of what I will put up with there and asked for a transfer. I don't doubt I will get it.
I worked really really hard to get to a calmer, saner life and sometimes its hard to say yeah I did that. I employ every skill in the book to keep from going off balance and still sometimes its very very difficult. I have to adjust to that my expectations of myself are sometimes way off base.
