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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Need ESH re: helping daughter!
Post Info TOPIC: Need ESH re: helping daughter!
Highlyfavored


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Need ESH re: helping daughter!
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I shared on this yersterday, my daughter asked for help in getting into a GED program and she did'nt follow through.  Today she called, nothing about yestrrday.  I spoke to my sponsor and she asked if I hadn't helped her enough already, gave her a car, she lost it to impound, gave her a place to stay for over a month when it was only suppose to be a few days when she was homeless, after getting  evicted from a condo she conned me out of $1100.00 to get into. (and more other money and cons than I can mention here)

My sponsor pointed out that she is broke and she will expect me to pay for registration, $15-$25.00 and bus fair and any other supplies, mind you she hasn't mentioned any of this yet.  I have lost my serenity over this, seeing her in this condition causesmy serenity to fly out the window and trying to stay one step ahead of her is very tiring.  I try not to go to her apt. most of the time she is broke, with little or no food, no toilet paper.

I told her I would call her back and let her know when I could take her, I'm wanting to say no, and wanting to tell her that seeing her and helping her before she get into rehab. or some treatment is all to painful for me to deal with now.

I don't believe she will follow through, and seriously believe she need rehab. before she start any program.  She get upset when I mention rehab. or mental health.

Thank you all for your support!

Gettingitright!



-- Edited by Highlyfavored on Tuesday 22nd of May 2012 07:04:32 PM

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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time.  And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers

Gettingitright!
Dolly Llama


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Sometimes people need to feel the full brunt of their poor choices before they will make better ones. When we step in and rescue them, we only delay the process and buffer the inevitable consequences. In my experience, adults don't fundamentally change unless they have a significant life event like divorce or rock bottom or near death or military basic training.

I know it is hard to see your child living this way and your motherly instinct is to help and to protect. Are there some boundaries you can put in place for yourself so that you won't be vulnerable to getting conned by her again?





-- Edited by Dolly Llama on Tuesday 22nd of May 2012 07:43:27 PM

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Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

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The best way to keep your serenity is not playing the game. I am sending you love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Debilyn


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When we do anything for them we are helping the disease. Its hard I know, but we must not give them anything but love!

She can get her drugs, she then can get t paper and food. There are food boxes available every week at different places. She can take a bus, get a ride, share a ride whatever.

I am telling you if she could get free dope or alcohol,she would get there some way.

its up to us to say I am no longer giving anyone any help cept me. Its my choice, I need it.

hugs hon,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
Jerry F


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Aloha Gettingit...Hang in there and keep practicing the opposite of your old program.  I am reminded of something my elder sponsors told me in early recovery.  "How will you know Jerry F if she can handle it, change or not, if you don't let her"?  Then I was told "Allow her the digity of the consequences of her choices".  The last one made me cry cause I had no faith in her or anything else at that time...including my self.  I was done.  Sounds like you're ready.   ((((hugs))))  In support  smile



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Highlyfavored


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Thank you all for your love and support, it feel scary, but I'm going to do it.

Gettingitringht!



__________________

Just go a step at a time, one day at a time.  And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers

Gettingitright!
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