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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> update,update!
Post Info TOPIC: update,update!
silent


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update,update!
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yestrday was my birthday so i get an unknown phone call from my ex a/d he tells me happy birthday then i ask him where are you at.he says at his bosses rent house all alone that his mom and him didnt see eye to eye so he walked over to the rental house oh my my heart goes to raceing he asks if i would bring my yorkie that he dearly loves and my yorky loved him lots too and that he wanted to see me to,i say ok ill be there in a min. well as i got out of my pjs and into some clothes and go rushing out the door to see him i stop my self at the top of my steps and asked myself ,just what are you doing or even thinking your doing and i turn myself around and walk back inside saddened but i get back into my pajamas and call my freind and she says good patty you thought through the curcumstances.and please dont go there,i didnt then i called his boss and told him and him what was going on and he told me he had been drinking alot and that i done good and that patty your doing good for yourself you sure dont need all that negativeness in your life ,lol he rambled on and on about my ex and he is pothead himself,but he does pay his bills and wants to set my ex a/d up in a trailer close to him ,he said he didnt allow my ex to drink inside his home or around his kids but dont make sence cause he still has it in him ,lol and he gets mouthy ,well while im talking to his boss my ex calls me i dont answer and then i turned me cell ph. off ,the thing that really gets me also is that i asked him if he had got rid of his std and he said yes and i asked him what dr he went to he couldnt answer me but that he just told them what he had and they gave him the antibiotic ,what a lie he hates and ive never seen him ever take antibiotics and only reason he would go to the dr would be to try and get narcotics.,and he has been sending this girl he just knows from online all these i love you baby and flowers etc etc.and she has been saying things such as i want you soo bad ,i went to her site and left a message under where he and she said theyt loved each other and said this is a joke he was begging me to come over to see him,how sick can one get,maybe i shouldnt have left that but it makes me sick of the way he is acting out looking for someone to take care of him ,looking for love where ever he can find it and i was told that they were like 2 peas in a pod,she was trying to be my freind at one time when i caught him flirting with her online and i busted on him to her and she was all i dont deseve that tec.etc. and that she wasnt like that and that she was sorry ,wow and now she is head over heals in love with him and never met him.they talk on the phone too,and i brung that all up to him too and he said that that was nothing ,lol do i need to go get help for myself or what?im beginning to really wonder about me now,and i prollly need to go and delete what i posted on her timeline,i dont know.now the hurt is trying to resurface cause i miss him somewhat,i went on to church this morning hopeing for some serenty and i did get some but now i cant get him off my mind.he is pityful and needs recovery but he ,that aint gonna happen in his life he loves his alcohol and drugs he is a unfillable hole and his mom is another one she is sick to and takes narcatics .i dont need this he has nowhere to go and if it werent for his boss he would be under a bridge literally under a bridge cause aint no salvation army gonna take him in cause he aint giveing up his stuff his boss supplies him but his boss hates alcoholics he just puts up with my ex to keep him working for hrs on end and like my ex a told me sevearal times that it was like liveing in helll with his boss.lol i hate it for him but he put himself in that sit. its not my problem anymore ,no more drama or chaos here no more and his boss assured me that my ex a wouldnt be bothering me anymore and that they would be working here close by me all this comeing week.oh my i hope i dont bump into him surely not he is on foot i do know that .thanx for letting me share my story and ramble on ,but this has bothered me ever since last nite......hugs silent 



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Debilyn


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Good progress Silent. I know it is not easy to not go or see him. big sigh. Lately when I am feeling punky about that stuff, I watch netflix.lol

Watched Lock Up. Boy did I learn a lot about addiction and how some of them think! Then I watched Prison Wives. Though about well I wonder if I could get a prisoner pen pal?

ARE YOU INSANE??!!!  I heard HP say....oops.

I can tell you still love him very much. But you know he does not feel that way so why bother going to see him. Sadly when they are using/messed up, they are only calling on us becuz they want something.

Oh there is always some poor woman out there who gets caught up with them. Usually an A themselves. My AH is with an old broken down A person. She supports him, does everything, and he bosses her around!!!! Is abusive too. sad.

Anyway I sure relate, you my dear did great. I hope you do something for yourself today. call a friend, go see someone, go to  a movie etc.

sending you hugs,debilyn



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Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Good Work Silent!!!!!

It was hard but you used your tools and took care of you.   WOW !!!clap.gifclap.gifclap.gif

Keep on Keeping on

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Happy Birthday



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
alexmaui


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Cheers to you!!! Sounds like a huge step and maybe a bit of HP insight, too.

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silent


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thanks deb,hotrod and alex for all of your support you have given me if it werent for this board,my heavenly father and staying in church and my dear freind that lives here she talked to me also and told me ..dont do it patty dont go but i really know that my h.p was the one who turned me around ,i thought it through and the consequences of driveing over there to him and came back inside and off came my clothes and back on my pajamas ,lol i sorta felt like a fool at 1st but i did it theres no love really there for him its mostly i feel alot of symphony for him cause he is pityful wished he would change but he is no longer my problem ,right,ty all ill be posting from time to time on here ,hugs and more hugs i love your support i need it....silent

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alexmaui


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LOL...I spent the weekend in MY pajamas, too. Watching TV and sighing.

Hugs



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Pushka


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Happy Birthday!! I hope you had a lovely day. :)

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
orchidlover


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I definitely jumped whenever the x A called.  Now he calls and I dont even answer the phone.  Not speaking is so essential for me.  He can suck me like a good old suction pump.

I no longer feel "sorry" for the ex A.  He took actions that had a direct consequence.  He was just hoping I'd come along and pull him out of it.

I did miss the exA for a long long time (more than a year).  I don't miss him anymore.  I am so grateful for that.  I also don't worry about him. A's seem to have an incredible survival instinct.  He always finds people who stick by him.  I'm just no longer one of those people.

Maresie.



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orchid lover
rara avis


Senior Member

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Happy belated birthday and way to go on taking care of yourself!

Change is hard but when it's for self improvement every little bit counts.

Pajamas was a good call [ said biasedly as I've been lazing around in my pj's the past two nights, starting at 6 pm ;) ]

hugs
rara avis

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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> update,update!