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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Scared
Post Info TOPIC: Scared
LeahC


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Posts: 20
Date:
Scared
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Hello,

I have only made 1 post on here but something is bothering me tonight, pretty much every night actually and need to say somethings.

I live with my boyfriend, father of my 2 year old daughter. He is an alcoholic and has been since he was a teenager. He has 2 owi's, one of which is from a near fatal car accident. He has attempted suicide. All of this was long before we lived together and had our daughter. He has been to numerous rehab facilities, latest one when i was pregnant in a last attempt to really get him sober before baby came. He went to Hazeldon in Minnesota which is one of the best rehab facilities around. His parents paid a pretty penny to get him there but sobriety only last a week after he got home.

Since then its been up and down. I have been really trying to detach and focus on myself but its so hard to worry about his health and his choices from his drinking. He is getting pretty skinny looking. Doesn't eat at all when he drinks, sometimes for 2 days straight, or 3 or 4 days out of the week he's not eating much. He has been drinking every day now. Never used to be like this.

But now when he drinks, he gets in his car and drives off. Gets on the high way, sometimes goes off to a casino out of town. One time he blacked out and got in his car in the middle of the night and then it was like he woke up while he was driving and was freaking out like where am i? what's going on? he had driven 45 minutes away from here and didn't even realize it. I am just so baffled after 2 owi's and a near fatal car accident that he would even consider to drink and drive and not just that, drive off to go out of town.

2 nights ago, he was pulled over by a sheriff for tinted windows and he was 10 beers deep at least and the cop just asked him you haven't been drinking have you? and he of course was like oh no no no sir. He gives him his ticket and he's off on his way. He was scared and so thankful nothing happened and swore up and down it would never happen again.

Tonight he is hammered and out driving around again. I'm glad to be away from it but i'm worried for his safety and other people's safety on the road. I could honestly care less if he gets an owi again because it is just bound to happen and he needs consequences in order to wise up but it's the safety aspect I'm fearful of. I don't want to call the police because he would hate me and people would turn on me. But I don't want it on my head if something happens. Afraid for his health and afraid for his safety and other's safety.



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Bargee


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Posts: 65
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Would he have to know it was you that called the police?
I'm sure they would keep annoymous.

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You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.
Eleanor Roosevelt
Bettina


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1744
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Ive given the Police my X husbands plate # when he has been out there driving intoxicated in the past. They will not go search for him, but if he happens to be spotted, thats a different story.

Then One Day it happened, finally after years of driving drunk, He got a DUI and rearended another party. Nobody was seriously hurt.

That was his first. That DUI cost around 30, thousand dollars. after the lawyers, bail, had to attend DUI classes that he had to pay and a fine to the courts.

Just remember he must suffer the consequences, not you, your not the drunk driver. After that DUI, he still continued to drink. So a DUI isnt a guarantee they will stop.

 

Bettina



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Bettina
nmike


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2677
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Call him in to the police. Take care of yourself and your daughter.

Nancy

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LeahC


Member

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Posts: 20
Date:
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Thanks to all who responded. I really want to call it in everytime this happens and have mentioned the idea to a couple people and they look at me like I will cause trouble. But this is a safety issue and it's just not right. I'm not quite sure where I stand right now but next time it happens, I may call it in anonymously because if I was driving on the road with my daughter I would want to know if there was a drunk driver out there.

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Bargee


Veteran Member

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Posts: 65
Date:
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LeahC I think that is an good idea.
I lost a very close family friend to a drunk driver and it was the most devastating thing to ever happen to me.
He was only 17 and had his entire life before him.
Your ABF, doesn't have to know that you called it in.
You may just save someone's life.

__________________

You have to accept whatever comes and the only important thing is that you meet it with courage and with the best that you have to give.
Eleanor Roosevelt
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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Scared