I drank with my aloholic boyfriend - Al-Anon Family Group

angel86 · Newbie

I drank with my aloholic boyfriend

ilovedogs · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm a bit confused by your post, why is he mad at himself and at you? Is he in recovery and had a relapse? Whatever happened happened. The program is about progress, not perfection. We all have slip ups in our recovery, whether we are the alcoholic or the codependent. Don't beat yourself up. Also, YOU did NOT make this happen. You are not responsible for someone else's choices. You didn't bend his elbow and force him to drink. If he is holding you responsible for his drinking choices, remind yourself of the three C's: you can't control it, you can't cure it, and you didn't cause it. Keep working your program, go to a Face 2 Face meeting and allow yourself to start your day over at any time!

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Hi Angel Welcome to Miracles in Progress.

Please forgive yourself for the slip and reach out to the AA hotline listed in the white pages of your telephone directory.

You have posted your message to the Al Anon section of this board and although we have compassion for the disease of alcoholism, the AA section have members who can really relate and can support you

Please repost to http://aa.activeboard.com/forum.spark?forumID=42735

Good Luck You are not alone

orchidlover · ~*Service Worker*~

You know I think double binds are part of a being with an alcoholic. If you stick around a barber shop you are going to get a hair cut. I stopped drinking for a long long time around alcoholics. I wanted to see if I had an issue.

I think the thing for me is that if I drink I'm more likely to drop my guard so I don't do it. Personally I don't have the craving for alcohol that an alcoholic has but if I'm around alcoholics I tend to drink too.

We can beat ourselves up to smithereens very easily around an alcoholic because we want to believe its possible to control them and their behavior. For so many of us we end up like being in a casualty ward before we see we can't. Letting that go is so very hard.

I was far far harder on myself than I ever was on the alcoholic.

Maresie.

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

geez Angel, we all make choices we wish we hadn't. Plus if we pay attention we learn from them and are better people!

I musta made a lot of them as I am pretty cool at 59!!!

NO big deal. Now its up to you to decide if you want to stop the behavior and do something else that will make ya feel good about yourself.

Please don't be hard on yourself. You may want to work on what makes people intimidate you into you making decisions you don't like.

I am telling you the way I finally started to feel stronger about me was volunteering at a food coop. That was how I learned how strong, intelligent and organized I was!

I thought I was an air head...lol I mean it! As years went by I am now not even intimidated by anyone at the least, went back to college worked full time and really lived about all my dreams!

Sooo look what this tiny choice may have done for you! I hope you will make a goal for how you want to be and grow, and go for it.

love,debilyn (mistakes can be learning experience in disguise. Debilyn)

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.