The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I feel like I really need support with this. My father in law is in a semi coma after a heart attack left him not breathing for 30 minutes (6 weeks ago). The prognosis is bleak for any kind of recovery to normal brain function. Meanwhile my partner, along with two half brothers and their mother/step mother are using toxic codependent drama to cope with the situation. I have a great deal of compassion, and can see my partner using this as a coping mechanism and denial thing....being drawn into a frenetic cycle of endless emails and phone conversations and family dramas. I feel like I'm on the edge of a nervous breakdown. The thing here is that throughout our 18 year relationship my partner has been addicted to high stress, creating problems and concocted power struggle dramas in avoidance of themselves (mainly), our life together, our home, our love and our relationship. So this current situation is just too much for me to cope with on many levels, being around someone more hyped up than normal, more absent than normal, more playing me off against the family than normal, more neglectful and more emotionally abusive than normal. I know the theory of what I should be doing but right now I feel like I'm drowning.
I'll pop out what my sponsor always pops out to me... how's it going getting to meetings?
It can be difficult detaching from an over-saturation of drama. But I know when I'm sitting there essentially taking other people's inventories then it's a sure sign that I'm getting dragged into the muck and need to make a quick grab for the lifeline Al-Anon tosses out to me in the form of meetings, CAL and phone calls with my sponsor.
Believe it or not... this, too, shall pass. Might as well find some serenity while it's going on.
It really sounds like some major self care is in order. Have you hit a meeting? Called your sponsor (if you have one)?
I'm so sorry that you are going through all of this, it really sounds very stressful, as well as painful for the whole family.
Sending lots of love, prayers and support your way, hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I can also say that learning how to detach was so so key for me.
The ex A was a toxic drama day and night around his family. At one point his mother decided to marry someone 2 months after she met him. She made the ex A pack and ship all day, all night when he was supposed to be earning a living.
I was livid. I can understand the magnetism of this kind of drama, intrigue and constant crisis.
I can also say I manage for the most part to stay out of them these days. I do slip though.
Glad you are here. Keep sharing, get support, care and encouragement.
