Two years ago when he relapsed and reappeared I ran across the USA to save him. It took him another 8 days to go to rehab. I bought him booze the whole time so he could "maintain" until he was ready. In hindsight it was ridiculous.

Last year he relapsed and when he wanted help he called me and I ran to him again. But, at this point we were living together, so he was only 30 minutes away. I stayed with him drinking for a few days, and he didn't stop. I went home. I told him when he was done drinking to go to the hospital and see if he can get in their detox. He did about three days later. The ER called me to get him, so I did. I brought him home and nursed him back to health. I stayed home from work (I'm a Nurse) and took care of him. We had a trip to Hawaii 8 days away, and I was going to go without him if he wasn't sober. We flew there, on May 10th and he went to meetings every day while we were on vacation.

May 1st this year, one day short of his 1 year sober date, he left, and started drinking on May 2nd. His sobriety date. I never attempted to call him or text him. The only glitch was he lost his son (recently diagnosed schizophrenic), so his ex wife wanted me to help, (she is on the East Coast, we are on the West). I did. We came home and he still drank. I told him to stop or leave, he left. That was Thursday. I didn't call him or make contact. I did finally call him yesterday am and asked him how he was. I was praying and I heard clearly to just ask him if he wanted a ride to detox yesterday. He was a jerk at first, and said he wanted to wait until tomorrow since he paid for the motel for 2 nights. So, I said, OK,  I started to hang up. But, he changed his tune quickly. He asked me to come to the motel he was staying at. I said, NO.He asked a few more times, I still said No.  This is the big difference, last year and the year before I said yes. I flat out said no. He then said he wanted to detox. I told him to call one of his friends from AA. He did. They picked him up this am and he is now in detox.

I have to pat myself on the back. I detached with love. I didn't get angry, I didn't get mad. But, I put myself first and I wasn't going to be the one to miss work today to save him. This is progress for me. I went to work today, and honestly felt like a better nurse. I wasn't worried about him like I normally would be. I didn't call in sick for him, like I normally would have.

It might be small progress, but for me it is huge. He is tucked away in a mens detox (medication free), he can stay there for 10 days. I am proud of myself. I didn't cry, get angry, fight, or beg. I just let go, and didn't do the rescue thing. I did let him know that I care. But, I wasn't going to do what I did in the past.

I see progress in my own healing.