The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The topic in my meeting last night was expectations. I heard a very powerful share from a member of the group, reminding me of the very important concept that expectations are just premeditated resentments. So true.
He continued and shared how for him, how to get past expectations was to just trust that everything was going to be alright. This was very important for me to hear and made me reflect back on what has happened in the 2-3 years or so since the alcoholism developed. There have been some really horrible, scary moments over the last couple of years, but when all is said and done, I sit here now and everything is ok. No one has been hurt, my beautiful children still smile and hug me everyday and for today, my wife is sober.
A connection with my HP is critical to embrace the idea that everything is going to be alright. I have that, and I need to remember that. Even if something horrible does happen, I know that this is his plan and that, indeed, everything is going to be alright.
It's so inspiring to read your post and to remember how far you've come. It was as if one day something clicked, and your progress has been so fast ever since. My heart just ached for you when you were in despair. But something tenacious in you kept hanging in there. Now you could be up for Poster Child for the Program. Give yourself a big hug!
Temple
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It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Yes, trust in the HP that everything will turn out all right.....but also knowing that I am doing the "next right thing" and using the tools of my program. You have done it all very effectively!
WOW--I love that definition of expectation. It fits with what we were discussing at my meeting last night too, which was resentments (we are going through the 4th step blueprint book and have lingered/avoided this section for months LOL!!) Very emotional topic...and clearly very connected to expectations, too.
I too have come back to that thought many times--me and my girls are together and healthy despite my AH's choices and every day he is still alive, despite drinking or not. Without a developing awareness and relationship with my HP, I may still get stuck in the old way of thinking/dealing so I need these kinds of posts. Thanks.
Wow, usedtobeanyer, thank-you so much for that post! It was exactly the type of thing that I needed to be reminded of today.
I need to try to remember this: "expectations are just premeditated resentments". Powerful stuff, especially for someone like me who lives so much into the future (in my head).
("I hope it'll go like this; I expect that he will say/do that; I'll probably need to react like this; I should be prepared for that..." and on and on...!)
Some of us have long grateful memories NYer and I'm with Temple. It has been inspiring to watch and listen to you hang in there and keep coming back and then earn a miracle...Soooo awesome and now you do a 12th for the MIP family...bringing it back and sharing the message.
