The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
It's been a much better week this week .. last week really left me feeling like someone had out and out slimed me. The slime if mostly off and I know I didn't start that whole thing.
I'm really being challenged to give it all over to HP at this point and boy do I want to hold on to something .. that free falling feeling is so not a fun thing to go through .. I like knowing where my feet are going. I always have .. even as a child I didn't run the way other children did .. I was very reserved if the ground was uneven I wasn't running.
Anyway, .. just really praying that I can do what I need to do and just really trust that HP has got my back. It's so hard to do when not trusting has both served me well by protecting me as well as done a disservice by closing me off to situations that would have been a good thing.
Thanks for letting me share, hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Reading your posting brought back my own struggle with truly Letting Go. I felt as if I was on the edge of a cliff and couldn't let go because I would fall into the never ending darkens's. The pain became to huge and I let go Just as you describe, the feeling was frightening then all of a sudden I felt the cushion,, the hand of HP grab me. I felt secure and confident that no matter what I would be OK.
Times like these are when you gradually learn that HP does have your back.
As far as knowing where your feet will land - well - I certainly get that. Been in that mind frame for most of my life. However, the past year I've been free falling too in a particular area in my life. I keep telling myself this is an opportunity to learn to let go and trust. Not easy. But I'm learning to be comfortable with the unknown.
Afterall, many times when we think we know where our feet will land, they end up elsewhere. No?
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
Like Hotrod, I felt the hands of my HP in a very real way when I truly let go. What's that saying...when you're falling, dive.
In my experience, my HP manifests and works through the actions of other people. It was not some mysterious orb of light and energy beaming from the heavens or whatever. Just the right person would cross my path, just the right conversation, connection, or experience would present itself to me. It took some time and practice for me to be able to understand that and see it. Now, I count on it. Haven't been let down yet! :)
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Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
(((Pushka))) Yes, sometimes it's hard for me too to ¨let go and let God¨. In almost every PM he ever sent me Rodney would remind me to leave it up to HP, leave it in HP's hands, trust in HP, etc. I guess he thought enough reminders might sink into my stubborn brain and help me to do so. You know what? He was right. So I'm sending you a gentle reminder to trust HP - he/she/whatever your HP is to you HAS got your back!
I love the ESH you are receiving. I too have struggled with this one as I am moving and you know what HP has my back too and I know it. Don't let the fear box you in, it's like a comfy old sneaker, but it stinks in there and will eventually give you blisters. I am sending you much love and support!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
