The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I was really nervous about how our trip to Vegas would go, but after reading some wonderful advice from friends on this board, I decided to just let go. As in - right! He might drink, so what if he does? I put together a small mental list of Plan Bs for myself, which also helped to calm me down before we left.
So - we had a really wonderful time. We did all kinds of shopping, eating, going to shows, wandering around, more eating, and yes also a bit of drinking, but I was happy that it was never very much. It was alright, and it felt like he was 'with me' the whole time. I even got a massage. Got to go to the Bellagio Buffet together! (SO amazing!)
Since we've been back, however, things have returned to normal. That is, he thinks that it's ok to drink a bit when we're out with friends (Sat night), and now again tonight after work (many many hours with his friend). The thing is, though - we talked about this explicitly when we got back from our trip! I asked him if he was planning to revert back to not drinking now that our holiday was done, and he said Yes.
I think I'm becoming a bit less gullible, which is good. I don't believe him all the time now, even though I wish I could. I went to a meeting this evening, which was really good for me, and I'm finding that somehow I feel quite a bit more detached from him than I thought I normally do, even though I've cried many tears already tonight. And now I can't sleep.
Anyways, thanks again so much to everyone who shared their experiences and ideas about my Vegas conundrum.
I am so glad you got to the Bellagio buffet!! Isn't it amazing!! I could just die there, I really could.
I'm glad the trip went well. Whew! Just keep taking it a day at a time and enjoy your life and days regardless of if he drinks. Talk is one thing...action is another, and what counts.
__________________
Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
Like Dolly said, actions are what matters not what is spoken. I'm still learning that with my AH. I'm glad your trip went well and that you had fun! Meetings are what will make a huge difference for you and give you the strength to make decisions for yourself that matter.
All you can do is sit back and watch. You already have his assurance that he will go back to his new normal of not drinking. And you can see what that means. Go on with your days knowing that just relaxing and having a plan B in case plan A doesn't work out is okay for you.
((((Lady))))...good consequences from your changes...all that good stuff in Vegas was for you and a result of the new things you've learned and have done. That is what recovery was and is for me. I do different I get different. Marvelous that you went to a meeting and gathered with us as we also get support and give support from and to each other. We know how to love and be loved and very often that is not within the disease of alcoholism and addiction. Keep coming back. Keep having an open mind and keep passing it back to others who have struggled just like you and us. We can help ourselves and others to suffer less and live free more.
