Trying not to get in my car! - Al-Anon Family Group

katfshh · Senior Member

Trying not to get in my car!

orchidlover · ~*Service Worker*~

Chaos usually surrounds every alcoholic. I don't know one where it doesn't.

Not getting tripped up in it is such a difficult one.

Take care of yourself regardless.

Maresie.

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

Dear

I understand

I beleive that calling the police in the area he has been seen and explaining your problem, would probably be the best way to go

In my thoughts

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

I hope someone has informed the home where the son has been living. They will know organizations that have experience in dealing with this.

Twenty-year-olds are grown up. A lot of people have their own kids by that age. So alarming as it is to others, it's not as if the son is a five-year-old.

What Maresie said is my experience too. Chaos surrounds alcoholics. But what if, for instance, you had never happened to have been born? If your parents had happened never to meet and you had never existed? This problem would still get solved.

A lot of the time when I thought I absolutely had to solve the problem, the real issue was that I couldn't bear the feelings I was having. Those were the problems that needed to be solved. It's hard to take in that the problem is not "out there" but "in here."

Can you do something absorbing today? There are even lots of people in every home town that need care -- and animals. A day volunteering at the pet shelter? Serving lunch at the homeless shelter? Or just a day taking care of yourself. What I'm trying to say is that, as the saying goes, "Cultivating our own garden" is healing for ourselves and others.

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

I like Hotrod's suggestion of bringing in the police they have so many more resources than the average person and are trained in this sort of thing, especially with the son being mentally ill. You were very honest in your post and I hear your frustration and am sorry your A has brought this to you, they do have that habit. Sending you prayers, love and support!!!

Jadie · Veteran Member

Chaos reigns supreme..... the A is active there is nothing you can do for him....he' going to do what he's going to do. His son is another matter. I would suggest to his own Mother to maybe contact the home where he lives and let them take it from there.....as Mattie says, they have the resources.... do what you need to do for you, to give you peace of mind...the chaos will always be there....Al-anon helps us re focus....keep sharing, keep coming back.

Take time to take care of yourself......takes practice, second at a time, minute at a time........

(((((HUGS)))))

Jadie x

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Much like an alcoholic will do...they take the suffering of someone else and make it all about them and cause added drama and chaos that didn't need to be there. Sounds like a planned pity party relapse at a really bad place and time...

katfshh · Senior Member

YES! Pitty Party Relapse! Exactly what I thought too. It isn't about him, but in his mind, "Poor me...my son has Schizophrenia, I can't handle it." Annoying this time, really is. I have been down this road with him 2 other times, and he always comes out, gets sober and goes on and one to whoever will listen about what he has been through. Last time, I was his Angel who saved him. Blech. Get this, the only text he has sent me since he left was accusing me of cheating on him! It said, "You know .....thinking of you being able to run so quickly to the arms of another man REALLY bothers me!"

I guess you can believe it. I didn't even respond. He is so drama and crazy. No concern that he walked away from his business that pays half our bills and left me here to figure everything out. Right? It helps to write this though, because I can see it for what it is and have a much harder time worrying about him. He should be worried about how I am going to take care of this house, and all that goes with it. Grrr.. hmm

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

Schizophrenia is very very highly genetic. It does not sound like he has it, though some of that delusional quality might be there and that has played into his son now having that disease too. Of course alcoholism has it's own set of delusional thinking as well. Very frustrating. :( grrr.

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