The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went for a hike yesterday. 6 miles roundtrip on a mountain. It was a beautiful day but as I progressed up the mountain, fog blew in and clouded any view. The effect was surreal, but perfectly suited my place in time. I'm in that murky middle space in between the worlds of the past and the future. I don't mean that I am not "in the present" but that my life circumstances are somewhat in a holding pattern at the moment (I ship off for military training and the start of a new career in 2 months). I know I am changing and growing, but in this space it is hard to understand just how much I am changing. I recognise that I am, and I feel great...but I think only in retrospect will I see just how powerful this time "in between" is for me.
I spent some time at the summit and looked around. All I could see was the few yards around me. The rest of the space was swarmed by fog cover. It was like being on this small patch of ground way up in the sky, perfectly isolated between heaven and earth.
On the way down, I began talking to my HP. I expressed my gratitude for the beauty around me, for coming so far in my healing, moving past my childhood, and stepping away from a harmful marriage. I asked my HP to help me move into the future with confidence, that I was ready. I want to move out of the middle ground. I asked HP to help me see and know what His will was for me, and that I would follow the path He lit for me without hesitation.
It felt wonderful to talk to my HP...the words just flowed and became tearful, but in a good way. I know that, just like on the trail, all I have to do is put one foot in front of the other, to keep moving even if I have blisters...the path will change, the elevation will go up and go down...I need to be careful on the rocks as to not twist an ankle...sometimes there is a view but sometimes there is only dense fog. It was a wonderful, timely hike. I feel one step closer to my future and less entangled by my past.
(edited b/c I can't spell!)
-- Edited by Dolly Llama on Tuesday 1st of May 2012 03:23:30 PM
__________________
Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
I relate about getting over the child hood and destructive marriage. Also I am on the brink of major changes and feel God at work. Keep up the great work! Sending you love and support!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
My HP really likes being with me in that atmosphere also Dolly. The fog and mists and clouds block out distractions and HP has my entire attention. Gotta have the fog and mists and clouds before the beautiful clarity all around me. Great post ((((hugs))))
I spent a few years in the military. It has its good and not so good points. I was married to a military man also for a time.
That has passed but I can honestly say, for me, joining the military saved my life in a literal sense. It gave me many many skills and self esteem (it also had periods of totally smashing my self esteem in a negative way too). Enjoy the experiences and remember one thing..... no matter what happens.. don't like life too seriously.. no one gets out alive!!!!
^ Absolutely Oksie! The military saved my life, too. I joined the first time when I was 19 and right out of an abusive home. The military gave me what my parents didn't- boundaries, rules, and trust. There I was shooting crazy weapons and guarding multimillion dollar aircraft! It did wonders for my sense of self.
I now have the opportunity to go to Army officer candidate school with the Guard (but must redo basic first, ha!)...no way I'm messin' this up! I'm ready to be yelled at and get my self discipline on...I think this time around the toughest part of basic training will be living with a bunch of 18 year old girls...ack!
__________________
Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
Just think Dolly with your Al-anon on you can be such a great mentor for all those 18 year old girls! Sending you much love and support on your journey!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
I too believe you will be a great mentor. Remember how it is for so many of those young girls, there for the same reasons you may have been.
To have someone by their side that is in the thick of it with them... but with a softer side while going for a whoopy shoot or getting covered in mud!!!!!!! A voice of experience in the 'hurry up and wait' and SNAFU situations!!!!!!
A chance to show these young girls it can be done differently.. how wonderful that could be.
Just writing that bit I could feel the frustration of military life.. I am glad I am not there anymore, but I know I have experienced things I never would have learned had I not been there.
