The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
its now been 9 days no contact with my a/d ex b/f he is still on my face book and we both was just on at the same time i wanted ,oh how i wanted to say something to him or him say something to me or just send me something but no not nothing i posted things and he posted a country song video ,i finally thought it best just to log off my facebook,i got to get my head back on straight here i just got cleared from a std he gave me while we were broke up for a year,and i know he has still got it and still carrying around with him,oh well,im gonna have to figure out a way that i can put him invisible so i dont have to see or know that he is online,love does hurt and it can also kill us codependent ppl like me.hugs i do nedd more esh here,,,,,silent and crying now
Glad that you took care of yourself and came here to share your thoughts and pain. It would be wise to find a way to not check on his face book page and to just focus on your own life.
Keep coming here, praying, and trusting HP You are not alone
You can block anyone on Facebook...it's under privacy settings Good tool for serenity!
__________________
Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
When I divorced my exAH I thought I could handle seeing his Facebook posts, but I learned that was not the case. It was actually not so much that what he was posting that bothered me, but he had an old exGF of his posting nasty jabs intended for my eyes to his posts. I one time mentioned that to him and he defended her. I first decided to just block her so I wouldn't have to see her bait dangling out there all the time. That helped tremendously, but eventually, maybe a month or two after our going our separate ways, I decided I really didn't want to see what HE was posting, either, so I actually just completely removed him from my friends list. I did that, too, because I felt he didn't need to know what was going on with me, either.
It was an important move for my personal recovery. It didn't mean I shunned all contact with him, but I didn't need to stay THAT connected.
Doing that and then getting myself to plenty of meetings really helped get me through that rough patch. Are you getting to meetings? I know for me, when things in my life are really stressful, I find I have to attend meetings almost daily if possible to keep me from backsliding horribly.
-- Edited by Aloha on Tuesday 1st of May 2012 02:17:23 PM
There are only 2 people in the world that thinking about them, hearing about them, or talking about them makes me angry. Both of them are not only "De-friended" on facebook, but they are also blocked so that I never have to see their comments or pictures overlapping with people I still know. Oddly, neither of these people are exes of mine. I'm past all the pain from break ups. Either way, they are people that are so rotten that having them creep into my mind disturbs my world view.
Silent, please stop torturing yourself. Yes, it's normal to grieve during a break up, but checking on him and wanting him to still care for you after you are over with him is like repeatedly ripping the scab off a healing wound. It would help to dig deep and care about yourself right now. If that seems hard, focus on those that do care about you as a way to stop obsessing on the fact that he doesn't care about you the way you want and was not capable of ever caring for you the way you want. Hit a face to face alanon meeting. They function to help care for you while you are relearning to care about yourself. You seem to really benefit from this board but have yet to hear you commit to a face to face meeting. Do you not think they will help?
