Hi Jules. I know its too late now since its morning. I know how hard it is NOT to react. It takes practice like anything else... and for me, what helped most was prayer. I pray for the serenity and the peace inside myself to know that everything is going according to my HP's will, whether it makes sense to me or not. This does not mean don't have boundaries and it does not mean "act like everything is normal." What it means is this: Pray for guidance, be still, listen, reach out to al-anon people (which you did, GREAT!!) and then follow through with the decision you make. In the beginning of al-anon, for me, big decisions were out of the question completely... little decisions were so hard, even. I don't know what decision you made last night but remember to live one day at a time. If he is mad that you did not come over, you could kindly explain that you had set that boundary already not to see him if he drinks. It has helped me huge to say what I mean, mean what I say, but don't say it mean. I have a limit set that if my husband uses drugs again we have to separate again. This is because of the trauma I have endured that I cannot endure again, and the legal matters that I don't want it in our home. It is not because I don't love him, I do.. and I understand its an illness.. but I love myself and this is my boundary to protect myself. This being said, I can't live life waiting for the other shoe to drop, I have hope for his recovery, but I also know that if he ends up using again I will be alright and I hope that I have learned enough and have grown enough faith in my HP that I won't react and I will follow through calmly with my decision.

I hope youre going easy on yourself this morning!! Keep coming back.