The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
So I seem to always post on here when I can't call anyone or go to a meeting. Its late so I can't call anyone and I am having an urgent moment.
My "dry" bf is working tonight (at the bar) and I am down the street from his house hanging with some friends and planned on staying at his place tonight cuz we live 45 min away from each other and it makes sense to stay at his house since I'm so close.
He just texted to tell me he had a drink and please don't be mad. He was just stressed and needed a drink. This is his excuse every time he has a gig (he's in a band). I actually believe he drinks anytime I'm not around. I can't prove it, but every time within the past 2 months that he has had a gig and knows he's gonna see me he tells me he had a drink. How can he not tell me? He knows I will smell it on him. It has in the caused nothing but fights in the past cuz I told him I will not see him if he drinks...
So here is my dilema. Do I drive all the way home? Do I go to his place and try and be ok? How do I react? I'm not supposed to react. But how do I NOT react and act like everything is normal?? I will not be able to kiss him without being utterly disgusted. I won't wanna smell his breath or be near him. What do I do? If I go home it will cause a fight. And if I stay it may end the same unless somone has some advice as to how I keep the peace when I don't wanna smell his breath.
Please help.
Something I notice is that we recognize an excuse in the alcoholic instantly. It's pretty blatant usually. We don't often see it in ourselves. I'm not sure but the driving in this case seems to be the excuse to drop a boundary. I'm not there. I can't be certain this is true but for myself I find I make excuses when I find it uncomfortable.
