The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am working on deciding to turn my will over to my HP. I think I've done it, but want to really meditate on what all that entails. It's really deep when you think about it.
My biggest issue is that I feel so vulnerable. My AH is still actively drinking. He isn't coming home until late most nights and insists on driving while drinking. We are soooo broke and late on our house payments etc.
I have lupus and haven't worked in quite a while. I got started on a chemotherapy type drug a few months ago and I'm starting to feel a little better.
Also, we lost our son about three years ago and I think the whole family is suffering from depression and PTSD from that.
My AH is gone again tonight drinking, and I have just said some prayers for him asking my HP to help him and heal whatever it is that makes him drink compulsively.
I'm no longer asking my HP to save our marriage, help my husband to stop drinking, etc. I'm just asking for help accepting whatever my HP's will is for my life and to guide me.
I'm afraid my marriage will probably end in divorce and that makes me so sad. I'm going to stay with Al anon for a while before I make a decision.
Sounds like you are facing lots of hardship and doing the best you can! I am glad you came here and posted! I am sending you love and support on your journey!!!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
It is indeed a difficult road we walk when living with this dreadful disease.
I am so glad that you have found your HP and are praying for clarity. Trust the process-Keep an Open Mind and know that prayers for Courage, Serenity and Wisdom are always granted. Listen to your small inner voice.
Hugs sending you love and support it's what we are here for!! Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Taking that leap of faith is difficult and scary. I am sorry to hear you have so many hurdles in front of you all at once. For me, turning my will over to my higher power means trusting that everything will work out for the best and letting go of hoping or trying to make sure that everything will work out the way I want it to.
My HP is constantly reminding me that the things that I want are not always the things that I need.
Also I like to remind myself of the saying that, "I can't, my HP can, I just have to let it"
Sending you tons of love and support on your journey, TryingToChange
(((xoxo)))
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"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am for myself only, what am I? If not now, when?"
"Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life."
Thank you to each and every one of you who responded. It means so so much to me! I am doing well tonight. Today was a calm and good day. Since starting my journey with Al anon, just a few weeks ago, I am so much more at peace and I know my family, especially my AH can see the changes.
I am thankful for this online group. Even though I have never met any of you, I feel so supported and cared for here. I pray you all are blessed!
