day 3 and obsessing - Al-Anon Family Group

hotrod · ~*Service Worker*~

day 3 and obsessing

silent · Veteran Member

i go to bed with him on my mind and wake up with him on my mind,omg whats wroong with me my freind is i know getting sick and tired of me talking about him she says im obsessing over him that im obsessed about him,its driveing my mind crazy ,all i can do is think about him,now im scared he is gonna come knocking at my door wanting the rest of his clothes just to pour salt into my wound am i gonna end up haveing a nervous break down over the a/d man,he conveniently left some of his things here for a reason ,i do know that he has done it before in the past years,im diabled and stay at home,nothing to do in this small town ,i know how he thinks and right now he is thinking im just getting me a break or something,im getting scared he is back liveing with his boss and his bosses family he is like a hired hand,they give him a cot to sleep on and work the crap out of him for free,,he hates it,we got back together 6 mths ago i had let him go for almost a whole year,cause he was way out on the limb then it was easy to detach then,but when my freind told me he had him another girlfreind i ran looking for him and pursued him now my girlfreind says she wishes she never told me that she didnt want me running after him,i dont know what got into me,i guess just couldnt stand the thought of him haveing someone else and here i was sooo alone he done good around me for 3 mths then the ball dropped and he went through surgery and he was back out there stronger than ever,ive got to get over him and be strong enough to do so,i can live alone and learn to love it.,hugs and thanx agin for listening ,love all of you for yur esh and advice i sure am gonna need it prolly for the next month or 2...silent

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

In my experience, intimate relationships have a powerful sway on you. Those highs and lows are intense and you can get "addicted" to a person even though you are convinced they are not good for you. This is where alanon helps you to develop tools to not do the same thing over and over again and expect different results.

rehprof · ~*Service Worker*~

it's taken me about 6 months to get over a break up...

I got through by 1) crying A LOT, 2) doing things that forced it out of my mind...(lots of movies) and 3) hanging out with people who get it

for me #3 was the hardest...because people just are so maxed out in general, they don't want to hear about you hurting...don't take that personally....

you WILL get through to the other side..

glad lee · ~*Service Worker*~

I had to find a substitute, I had to actively do something different, my mind would then follow. I went to a lot of meetings in early recovery.

I also use this obsession prayer, you can borrow it if it feels right to you:

"God, please remove the obsession. And direct my attention to how You would have me be."

Breakingfree · ~*Service Worker*~

You have received great ESH, when I get in my head and obsessing about my exAH I dive into my program I call Al-anoners and get to as many meetings as I can. We are like them only our addiction is them! I hope you can take care of yourself and change the things you can. Sending you love and support on your journey!

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