The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
he wanted to know what i was doing i told him i was in a online meeting he said to callhim when i got a chance,i didnt call him i just went on to bed ,havent heard another word out of him since his text last nite,my freind helped me gather all the rest of his stuff up and bag it,whew it was alot more than ithought id thought he gotten it all but he had left stuff behind,im hopeing he dont calll for it if he does ill just put it out to my barn and he can pick it up whenever.im trying to get myself back together in a good way so that if i should talk to him ill be strong enough to tell him in a nice way my reasons for breaking it off,ive got to move on completely away from him,before he kills me,with his spreading std around ,im takeing my antibiotic for mine now,and hopefully,prayerfullly ill be cleared of it and they wont find nothing else,this has been a real eye opener for me ,never know what a a/d will do or sleep with,and bring to you.my feelings are diff. now toward him im not so much in love with him anymore for ive realized he has just been useing me for sometime now.im feeling awful lonesome thats my main problem is lonesomeness i can be as busy as a bee and around ppl and still feel soo lonesome.its an awful feeling.i know my higher power will help me with this .prayers really needed....hugs and more hugs and all the esh i can get for this is only day 2 without him.ill be posting prolly everyday here in hopes i can get some relief from it all,thanx for listening ....silent
(((silent))) He says he loves you. But what do his actions tell you? I don't expect you to answer that, just something to think about. I understand the loneliness. Keeping busy helps, being with friends, doing things you enjoy. But the loneliness is hard to take, especially at first. Let me tell you this-it does get better. Yes, it takes time, but it DOES get easier. Hang in there. Trust in your HP and post here as much as you want to. We're here for you.
I have spent a LOT of time sitting on my hands in the past 90 days. Trying to check my motives before I make any contact .. some days better than others. Someone who loves you doesn't give you an STD and deny it. Someone who loves you doesn't harass you. Someone who loves you doesn't do what your boyfriend has done to you.
Keep coming back, you deserve to be treated with love, respect and dignity. Regardless of any of your choices we are all here to support you. Just from what you have shared you deserve to be treated as someone of value because you are. Keep praying, keep listening, and keep the focus on you.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I too felt the loneliness of living with this disease. I was in a room full of people and felt so very alone. Coming to alanon and working the Steps I discovered I was so terribly alone within because I had abandoned myself. I was out side of myself helping everyone else and I was not within helping myself.
Alanon showed me how to "Focus on myself" take care of my emotional needs, trust God and then I could reach out to others.
Since I have myself and my higher Power I can be alone and be restored to sanity and be with others and share from my abundance.
I love Betty's post. When I noticed that he was there for him, and I was there for him.... there was nobody left to be here for ME. I abandoned myself.
Here I was seeking approval from someone I don't even approve of, what is wrong with that picture?! The problem is always ME, I never get to move on until I discover what my part in my own suffering is, what I have done to myself.
But take a good look at your post, you are seeing it, my friend. You have a lot of awareness and that is very good news. Sometimes it just takes what it takes for us to pay attention, that's how it worked for me too. I am confident, you'll be okay. ((hugs))
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The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
