I am back from my three week overseas trip.

We had a good time.  It had its ups and downs.  I get very stressed in new places, with new things etc and I'm afraid my default emotion of anger was running the show a fair bit.  But I noted it and talked to myself.

We found Bali fun as per usual.  My husband is a bit of an adverturer and I keep telling him he has married a 'fat chick' and I can't do the things he wants to do.  We compromised and went on a trek up Mt Batur, an active volcanoe in Bali.  The brochure said it was an easy climb for all fitness levels.  They lied.
I was vomiting from exhaustion and it was a hard climb for sunrise so it was in the dark.  The only reason I didn't stop half way up and just wait for them, is because I knew my husband would stop with me and stay with me and I didn't want him to miss out.  We had hardly slept as it was a 1am pick up from our hotel.  It was hard, but I did it.  I have photos of a sunrise over an active volcanoe.  Hubby did an extra climb (he is extremely fit) right to the pinnacle.  He loved it. 

Thailand we didn't like so much.  We went to Bangkok and I got seriously stressed out and bickered.  I didn't know the place, the people I found to be rude and totally out to just get hold of my money.  We got swindled big time by a taxi driver.  I was just a bit over it.. too many people and I didn't know where I was or how to get around etc.  A few times I just defaulted and told hubby to take over the getting around etc and I just followed him.  Of course he is terrible at that kind of thing and we ended up totally lost and no idea what we were doing... but I allowed my mind to rest and to let him take care of me for a bit.  It did us both good.  We liked the place and would go back, but only now we know a bit more, and we probably wouldn't stay in Bangkok.  I was worried about his drug use and being in Thailand etc.  He didnt' touch a drop thankgoodness.  He was very good and didn't even go looking.  He stuck near me in the red light area too although he did do ALOT of perving etc... (as men do I suppose).  I can't get upset at that, but as I get 'bigger' I find myself getting more and more upset at it.  Thats my problem, not his.

We then went on to Laos.  Nearer the golden triangle and drug use (cannabis particularly) is popular, easy, everywhere, on the pizza's even.  We went to a place where 'boys' go to get drunk and stoned and ride the river.  Tubing its called, but its really just a party.  Hubby and I talked prior to going.  I could have easily gotten all angry and snippity, but instead I just laid out the consequences should he get caught.  We were wiht my friends who would lose her job and be deported (she has a very good expat job), and her 14 year old daughter is wiht us and they are not drug users at all.  My friends warned that if we wanted to do any drugs that is our perogative but there are undercover cops etc.  Hubby told me if he was going to have a smoke he would be smart and discrete.  I left it at that and decided not to argue and just handed it over to my HP.

Guess what... hubby had all the opportunities in the world... he chose not to smoke pot or use any drugs at all.

Guess what more... hubby was actually proud of himself!!!!!!!!!!!

Guess what more again.... hubby thanked me for bringing his life to this point where he would be here (near the golden triangle) and NOT be using.  He actually said he is loving life the way it is and he thanked me numerous times!!!!!!!!

Now he has NEVER said he is going to give up the pot permanently, he has never sought help or a program.  He still says he likes to smoke and will do so, and I know enough to just be waiting for the relapse... but hey... isnt' that one a great story!!!!

We were in Laos for the new year and the water festival, it was such fantastic fun.

Then to singapore where we were in awe at the advancements there compared to our part of the world, and compared to where we had just been in the poverty part of the world too.  We liked it ok.  It was our birthday while there so we did a few fancy drinks and restaurant and went on the flyer and stuff.  We also did the Zoo's and Changi etc.

So we are home.  We are tired, but I am glad it was my husband that holidayed wiht me and the addict stayed at home.

:D I said that to myself a few times too... thanks too hard.
I especially said it to myself when my friends announced they are taking us to the tubing. We had already discussed that he wanted to do that and he wanted to be stoned doing it.
I did not allow myself to freak out at all.... I handed it over.... and I was handed back one of the most beautiful heartfelt romantic moments of my life.
Aint it great!!!

I got a heap of replies on the ACA site!!! naawww shucks... nice to be missed!!! :D

Welcome back on both boards!

I don't think there is anything better than living life on life's terms.  You definitely got to that point and that's a huge huge accomplishment.

Maresie.