things went well fri.nite with me and him,but come saturday or today,he had to have a pain pill ,all his connections here are all gone either mostly dead ,and the only one person he had told him no nomore she is disabled severely and got told on so now she has cut him off,but he managed to think up someone that had one or whatever i dont really know what he got im thinking it was a dalada and he shot it up in my bathroom or snorted it i dont really know i just know he stayed a loooong time in my bathroom when he got back and then wanted me to take him to the next town over to get him some beer,which i told him no that there would be no more beer here in my house or car,besides that im sick n tired of burning my rubber off my tires that i have to replace not him and burning my oil that comes out of my pocket to have it changed.and my son found a empty beer can in my bedroom and said ...mom u say he respects you then why is this here for and i told my son that it wasnt ever gonna happen again and im sticking to my story this time so when i told my a/d b/f no he just said fine then ill just call my boss man to come and get me cause im gonna drink on my days off work ,ugh he drinks when he gets off work too.but he packed up all his stuff he had here clothes shoes etc.. and left.and told me that he would wire me the money thursday to pay for that medicine i need ,dont know wheather or not to beleive him,he lies way tooooo much,but any way it is hard on me for now but ive got to survive and i told him i would be just fine and he said you always are fine when i leave,but i hope and pray that this is the very end of a loooong relationship that shouldve never been in the 1st place,it was a bad beginning ending in a really bad way with the std and him leaveing with all his stuff makes me feel sad right now but i know i can get god back into my life now ,i just dont know really how to handle this right now at the moment cause i dont want to make enemys with him and he is on my facebook ,we were always jealous of each other,i do know,oh well what i do know is that im gonna take care of myself regardless of what he does ,and if i have to ill take down my face book,so i wont have to deal with him at all ,he wants us to get a motel down there where he lives with his boss and his family but that cant be either cause ill be on my meds anyway and like i said when i tell him no sex for 20 days and he has to be on it too and while we r both on the meds we cant even have sex together,so i guess he will find him someone else to have sex with im sure theres plenty out there.i could sure use a shoulder to cry on about now cause this hurts like hell,im getting teary eyeed now just typeing this out ,plx i do need all the esh you good ppl can give me and ill take advice to,tell me what is he doing to me and what am i dealing with ,is my head that thick that i cant see far from my nose,wished i had a long letter written to me tellling me all about him and what im looking at and what a/d are really like and what i can actually expect from him,cause he is sooo darn affectionate and loveing toward me and he eats me up when we are together,and handsome ,did i mention that,and he does love me sooo darn much,his addiction is reallly horrible,ive got to be strong for not only my own life but for my kids too,i dont want to die of a horrible desease at a early age,im only 48 and he is 48 too,but i got to get myself back clean for someone that is worth haveing someday,i just want and need to pour the rest of my life into gods hands and be of service to him only .and leave this a/d alone and work on getting him out of my life as painlessly as possible.hugs agin and love to all plz keep me going here cause i need all yalls help i can possibly get,,,hugs and love,,,,,silent