The material presented
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Hi all....having a rough week. Praying for some clarity and serenity into what I should do about my ex ABF who is still part of my life and still an active drinker. I have been praying for some kind of answer to come over me and I am pretty sure I do not want him to be part of my life anymore. This devistates me in a way I can't explain. Just looking for some love and guidance as to how to approach the situation and ask that you say a little prayer for me during this difficult time
Corgi...you have the thoughts and prayers. "the courage to change the things I can..." I had a most miserable time when I was where you are at now and having a great sponsor, home group and committed HP brought me thru it. I needed to do for me what was built on reality and not a fantasy. When you listen your HP will speak. ((((hugs))))
I too have decided to end my relationship about two months ago when my ABF picked up again he has been in AA for 3 years slippin and sliding.
I love him but I am so unhappy , I think I am finally surrendering. Today although I am experiencing the ;pain you mention and my heart is trying to grag me back, I am parying and listening to my gut. I am reading, coming on here, going to meetings, I have not got a sponsor but I want one, I chat with other al anon friends. i have reconnected with my family and friends.
I am putting the focus on myself and sometimes I feel good. i know it is going to take time and I am just trying to be kind to myself.
Like many others, I've been where you are now. It turned out to be a blessing because that's when my relationship to the HP of my understanding really blossomed. Now, I know HP has my back at all times.
You're in my prayers.
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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light. Lama Surya Das
Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die. Malachy McCourt
you are not alone. I just left my ABF last week and I know the struggle you are going through. I will keep you in my prayers. But be proud of yourself and be gentle with yourself. You are doing what you need to do by asking for help. Keep praying to your HP and take care of YOU.
Let it go and let god, the answer will come.
Sending you hope, strength and love in your difficult time,
Tina
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"If I am not for myself, who will be for me? If I am for myself only, what am I? If not now, when?"
"Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life."
If you are reading any alanon lit such as ODAAT there are a lot of good reads about "changing the things I can" .. all we can do is the best with the information we have, letting go and letting God is huge.
It does get better, I also had to look at why I was allowing a relationship to define who I am vs defining the relationship. I don't know if that makes sense or not, when my behavior changes in the negative then it's never a good thing. I do need to look at changing things at a cross roads.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
