I've been working through some feelings over the last few weeks due to a decision I made.  At a time when so many people are without any work, I finally was hired where I have been working temporarily over the last half year.  The pay isn't great and I'm overqualified for the job but I have an incredible boss who is professional and equally respectful of the team members she supervises. 

At the same time and within the same company I was approached about another position which is more in keeping with my experience. My current boss and human resources approached me about this position. Also, I had been doing occassional work for the hiring manager. That position has a higher salary and somewhat impressive title.  It's the kind of job I would have jumped at earlier in my recovery when I was outward esteeming myself through people, places and things. I would have not given much thought of what might come along with the job.  There have been some red flags concerning the hiring manager's style of management. I think my higher power has been putting some lessons, tests on my path with situations to compare my current boss's employee management to the supervising style of this woman.  The manager who has the better paying, fancier titled position seems to get self esteem mileage from keeping others small.  Granted I don't have to show up for that nonsense by detaching and working my program but I would still be the paid hostage of her behavior every day at work. She is ten years beyond retirement age and has told me she isn't planning to retire anytime soon. Of course anyone who has fingers and toes knows sooner or later she will have to retire.  My current boss mentioned that there might be a chance to move into this woman's job someday but honestly what would the journey to that end be like.  With my present supervisor is a pleasure to work for each day. I don't take this lightly. I realize how rare this can be. Despite the work not being especially challenging, I'm trying to do a decent job and not project about the future.  There are days when I feel unfulfilled and impatient but in truth staying present and grateful leaving the rest to hp helps me out of that stinking thinking. Although I'm disappointed that the situation isn't better concerning the more challenging job, I'm trusting my gut on this one. The plan to keep what I've got -  my sanity, serenity and a positive supervisor. More will be revealed. TT