I am having so much fun seeing how recovery work continues to remove fear from my life.

About a year ago, I posted about my experience with getting up and reading the Al-Anon Preamble in front of a room of around 100 people at the annual Big Island Bash, an AA convention with Al-Anon participation.

Well, last year when I was doing that, I was the support person for the Al-Anon head volunteer for the bash. That support position also had me in the position to actually be the Al-Anon head volunteer for this year's Big Island Bash (called the Al-Anon Head Red because all the volunteers wear red t-shirts).

The Head Reds (there's an Al-Anon and an AA Head Red), actually facilitate the Thursday night open meeting that serves as the kick-off to the Bash. In that position, the Head Reds not only work on delegating tasks to the rest of the volunteers, but we also get up in front of that huge crowd, make introductions and announcements and give a brief share of our ESH in our experince with the Bash.

I am so grateful my HP gave me the courage to once again get up in front of that large crowd of people and speak and even laugh at myself if I made any mistakes. The AA Head Red and I successfully facilitated the meeting... got plenty of applause, effectively communicated what was needed to be said and did our jobs with big smiles on our faces the whole time through.

Again... if I could see myself now back before I entered the rooms of recovery, I wouldn't believe it. Me... being completely at ease and comfortable speaking to a large captive audience. Get out!!!

To add to my share of recovery removing fear from my life, the weeked prior, I agreed to participate as a backup dancer in an opening number at our local theater where they held a fundraiser. It was a hip-hop dance to Beyonce's "Run the World" song. I only had three formal practice sessions for this dance before the show, the rest I had to kind of run over and over in my head at home on my own, and once with a friend who had the moves down really well.

I was nervous most of the day before the show, but I tell you once I got to the theatre and was up in the dressing room getting changed and ready, the nerves just melted away. When I looked outside to see the crowd of people who came to watch, I didn't get even a twinge of insecurity. When they called places, I was absolutely calm and when I got out there, I just did my routine and enjoyed it the whole way through.

Thank you, HP, for removing unnecessary fear from my life! I think it all started in the rooms of Al-Anon... baby steps. Learning to speak what was going on in my head in front of a small group of people who thankfully never once snickered at me rudely, rolled their eyes or made me feel ashamed. If not for that experience, I don't think I'd be able to take on the bigger stuff now.