Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I went to the train station last night and almost boarded to Crazytown!
Post Info TOPIC: I went to the train station last night and almost boarded to Crazytown!
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3972
Date:
I went to the train station last night and almost boarded to Crazytown!
Permalink  

I had to go to the office where my exAH works and use the fax machine there, since I don't have one and I asked 2 other places that had a fax and they don't let anyone not staff use them. So anyway I was in the office for awhile faxing out forms to different agencies and he comes in the room I am in and starts getting mad at me, because our oldest called me and talked to her little sister while she was at my house and not his, (She is on a 6 night class trip in D.C). So okay I tell him to call her the phone works both ways and I leave.

Last night he calls me and I can tell right away he is drinking and starts in about different things. I don't play the game and he hangs up on me, he calls me back and does this again, usually I would put up with this the whole night. The 3rd time I didn't answer the phone and he was laughing on my aswering machine telling me yeah, I am finally learning. Weird, but oh so true. Atleast he even knows he was just harasssing me.

Then today I was going to call him, he said he would watch my 3 year old for me to go workout with my friend, but I decided I will just take her and skip the interaction all together. I am getting it, even before the move to stop relying on the sick exAH, sometimes I let him back in as harmless as it seems to help me watch my lil one, it causes phone calls and other interactions that just get manipulated and controlled by him. Not good, so no more of it! I have let myself be owned and controlled my whole life and sometimes I give up my power way too naturally. Keep on keeping on all!



__________________

Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Dolly Llama


Senior Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 284
Date:
Permalink  

Heck yeah! Glad you canceled your ticket to crazytown. It's not very seasonal this time of year. Or any.

__________________

Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
AStrongerMe


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 755
Date:
Permalink  

Excellent! I too learned to not rely on my ex, it always led to crazytown for me as well. Great share!

__________________
Green Eyes


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 661
Date:
Permalink  

So glad you didn't board that train! It's not a good place to visit. I read this yesterday and it seems appropriate to share this with you today:

"In order to get to the other shore, you gotta lose sight of this one."



__________________
Debilyn


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3653
Date:
Permalink  

Hey u said it, it would be crazy to allow any addict to watch your child I don't care how old it is!

I am so proud of you for not falling into it!

What makes us answer their calls anyway? What do we get out of it?

ugh, hugs and pat on the back kiddo! debilyn



__________________

Putting HP first, always  <(*@*)>

"It's not so much being loved for ourselves, but more for being loved in spite of ourselves."

       http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html            Or call: 1-888-4alanon
living for me


Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 20
Date:
Permalink  

You should be proud of yourself for not falling into the whole routine. Good for you.

__________________

Its what you do next, that matters...
Peachy219


Veteran Member

Status: Offline
Posts: 48
Date:
Permalink  

I just had to respond to this because I'm trying to leave crazytown myself. I just left my ex last week and everytime he texts or calls I have this insane compulsion to answer and start the cycle over again. You should be very proud of yourself for not playing into it, I know how hard it is to stay away from that mess. Thank you for your share, it gives me hope that one day I'll be able to leave crazytown behind too :)



__________________

"If I am not for myself, who will be for me?
If I am for myself only, what am I?
If not now, when?"

"Be happy for this moment, this moment is your life."
likemyheart


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1277
Date:
Permalink  

When he texts or calls it is his way of INVITING you to board the train eh? I am fond of the saying - the only winning move is, not to play, not to board, not to get sucked into his game.

__________________
I am strong in the broken places. ~ Unknown All changes, even the most longed for, have their melancholy; for what we leave behind us is a part of ourselves; we must die to one life before we can enter another! ~ Anatole France
Pushka


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3870
Date:
Permalink  

Hugs BF,

Thank you sooo much for your share I so needed this today!! Sending love and support, hugs P :)

__________________

Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
pinkchip


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 5663
Date:
Permalink  

What I read is that you are detaching and healthy boundaries are coming up as a result. Great work BF!

__________________
Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 3972
Date:
Permalink  

Yes Pinkchip, unfortunately I have dettached several times before, but this time I hope it sticks and I don't fall back into the whole idea of relying on a sick person. The manipulation and control over the stupidest things just really helps me to see how sick he is and well we know this disease doesn't get better on it's own. That is why I am moving to a bigger town for my girls and I am looking forward to a fresh start and new opportunities. However he has my kids 2 out of every 7 days and will be a weekend dad. I have it in writing that he will not be under the influence of any mind altering substance drugs/alcohol while the kids are in his care and I will honor the agreement as long as he honors his side. I feel if I took them away completly they would lose out on having a father figure and although he has faults his absence might make things worse altogether. I fight so many battles since leaving him with decisions with the kids. My oldest definitely wants to see him still, I just believe with moving an hour and a half away I might want to fight over cutting down his time during the school season and give him more in the Summer. I know with my HP's help I will get through it one decision at a time. Thanks for all the support!

__________________

Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.
Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> I went to the train station last night and almost boarded to Crazytown!