The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Well, AH just left for his appointment at court. This is the sentencing hearing. I have been minding my own business and not asking questions, although I did hand him the checkbook just in case he needs it to pay fines, etc. I said a few nice encouraging words and told him that I would pray for him. He said, "Well, it's better than not." He seemed pretty frazzled and I know he's nervous about what the verdict will be.
I was really proud of myself for staying out of it, especially since this DUI affects my vacation planning, the family's finances, and other parts of our lives that it touches. I know it's his DUI but we are the collateral damage and it's sooooo hard to stay on my side of the street.
Also, I talked to my alcoholic mother in law yesterday(no one in his family knows about the DUI) about my father in law. Ah's dad is probably going into hospice some time this weekend. So, my AH has the stress of the DUI(brought on by his own actions) and then dealing with the fact that his dad is dying. Ah's family lives 2500 miles away across the country so if AH wanted to attend the funeral he'd have to fly and rent a car. Not sure how that will play out depending on the DUI? Not my problem, though, but there is a part of me that feels sorry for him. I remember how I felt when my dad was put in hospice back in December and it's like a terrible waiting game. Just waiting for that phone call is terribly stressful. Ah doesn't want our son and I to attend the funeral with him, if he goes. His family is all a bunch of crazy people anyway and they make me uncomfortable so I was fine with the decision to stay home. Along with the fact that our dog is also close to her end days, as well(of course, I've been thinking that for the past 5 months now but she just keeps recovering and giving us more time with her, LOL) . It would be hard for us to find someone to care for her if we all had to leave for a while. When the dog was looking pretty bad a few days ago, AH had said: I don't know if I can handle the dog dying and my dad dying, too. I remember saying those exact same things back in December. My grandmother was in the hospital in FL on a ventilator, the dog wasn't doing well, and my dad was in hospice. VERY hard to hold it all together. Well, my grandmother recovered and the dog recovered so my HP knew exactly how much I would be able to handle!
Thanks for all the support here, I truly appreciate it!
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Well, guess we'll have to save the prayers and stuff for next month! He took a plea deal and so we don't know what the prosecutor is going to come back with. His next court appearance is the middle of May, UGH! Gotta hate the waiting. He seems quite frustrated, oh well.
So sorry that there is the waiting game if he took a plea deal I'm surprised he doesn't already know what's going on. Praying it will be over soon. Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
the ex Did a hit and run after I left him. It was very hard to stay out of it but I did. I'm so grateful I didn't put that on myself. I have made a point of not knowing but I do know he still drives so whatever happened he still didn't learn anything because someone who is using should not be behind any wheel at all.
