The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Oops. I forgot to put the rest of the post in here.
We hear a lot in Al-Anon about unconditional love. Such love makes no demands, exacts no payment, has no expectations. we are free to give it without anticipating or even wanting anything in return because the experience of loving in this way is so rewarding in and of itself that we are grateful for the opportunity......unconditional love ask for nothing except expression....love with no strings is a foreign concept for many of us......our survival as a fellowship depends on unconditional love.....we need each other. Each member is important, yet nothing is required of any member except what he or she freely wishes to give......ironically, the only way to keep the riches we receive is to give them away......excerpts from the chapter on Service in How Al-Anon Works
I think that's about enough for me.
-- Edited by Wolfie55 on Monday 16th of April 2012 05:46:21 PM
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
I always thought I understood and gave unconditional love.. To me this love meant that I denied my feelings, pretended I was happy, pretended I accepted the life style my husband introduced into the home and made myself invisible. . I thought that not making waves, accepting all this was unconditional love.
A few years of giving this unconditional love I had to move out of my home before I truly did Kill my husband. The rage and anger that I felt was astonishing . I had not accepted anything I had just stuffed it.
I entered the rooms of alanon defeated and with no where else to go. Alanon showed me unconditional love in action.
First and most important alanon taught me to "Love my self unconditionally" . I learned how to do that by working the Steps, un covering my assets and defects and accepting the entire package I was able to . stop being invisible and learn how to focus on myself and trust a Higher Power's will for me. .
I learned that unconditional love cannot exist without boundaries and justice. I needed to accept my feelings, express them negotiate resolution and move on
Unconditional love means I do accept others as they are but that I also learn how to negotiate my needs and be honest in the process.
Alanon meetings, sponsors ,sharing here all taught me how to love with no strings.
I try to unconditionally love my co-workers, my patients, my husband, my friends, my family.. its hard sometimes but when I feel those glimmering moments of true unconditional love it is priceless.. and I realize, this is what life is all about. I am no Mother Theresa but now I get it. I get what that kind of life is all about.. and before it just seemed.. sooo.. BORING ahhahahhaa.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Wow, Betty hit the nail on the head for me. That is exactly what I thought unconditional love was: I was the master of accepting unacceptable behavior because I told myself that it didn't bother me, that I was so good at loving unconditionally, etc. And, then one day it all got to be too much and that's what brought me here. Thank you for sharing, Bernie!
i think I felt that unconditional love was all about helping the alcoholic get up and of course most importantly my being liked because since I didn't like myself I very much needed to be liked.
Now I view unconditional love in a very different way.
