The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
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information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My father has a drinking problem. It has been going on for about 15 years and i really dont see how its going to stop. I have 2 older brothers who feel the same as me. We love our dad but the mood swings and stepping on egg shells is getting to breaking point.
My mum and dad are still together and she just lets him get on with it.
So you can get an imagine of how much he drinks Friday night he had drank a litre bottle of vodka before any of us had got back from work. He works till 16.00 on a friday! we work till 18.00.
Also my father is a diabetic type 2 I love my dad and dont want to loose him so this is a daughter asking for someones help to save him so he will be alive to one day walk me down an aisle.
Aloha Need Help and welcome to the board. This is the place to be, hanging with those who have been where you are at and found a way to get their peace of mind and serenity back whether the alcoholic in their life was still drinking or not. Just a few basics from this member in Hawaii...find as much information as you can about alcoholism...much great information comes from inside the face to face meeting rooms of the Al-Anon Family Groups; where those who have been deeply affected by this fatal disease in a family member meet so that we can mutually support each other and pass on what we have learned.
Also sit and learn some new condepts, ideas and principles regarding alcoholism and who we are and are not...We have the 3cees...We didn't cause it, we cannot control it and we cannot cure it. Alcoholism is an incurable disease...it can only be arrested by total abstinence and your Dad doesn't sound like he is near that idea.
It will take a power greater than himself and yourselves along with a bunch of other recovering others to help him and you and the family to change what is going on right now and that has to happen within the willingness of every individual. If he is not willing to get help...he won't. If your Mom isn't willing to get help...she won't. You have been the willing one to seek out help and you are getting some and will get more from the fellowship. MIP and Al-Anon will save your sanity, serenity and life if you are willing.
Go to your local telephone book and look up Al-Anon in your area and then call that number to see if where and when we meet there is available for you. Keep coming back here cause there are some awesome supportive MIP members available to support you.
I was born and raised in the disease of alcoholism and continued that legacy by continuing to associate and drink with them and marry that kind of spouse. Time for a change. (((((hugs)))))
I second Jerry's advice to find an Al Anon meeting. My dad was a functioning alcoholic and VERY social drinker. I can't tell you how many times he passed out at the bar sliding right off his chair and landing on the floor. It's sad to see this happening to our parents but we can't do anything about it. I begged my dad to quit, I begged him to quit smoking, too, but nothing changed his habits. As he got older, he got meaner and I started to pull away from him emotionally. He passed away in December due to complications from a combination of a spinal tumor and his poor health from the drinking and smoking, he was 62.
I can hear your pain in your post. I, too, felt this way about my dad but he was responsible for himself. He wouldn't do his physical therapy,he lied to his doctors, he kept drinking and smoking even when the doctors told him how that affected his circulation once he became paralyzed after the surgery. Nothing deterred him from either habit. In the end, he suffered a painful death but he accepted his consequences and took responsibility for his own actions. I know firsthand how hard it is to watch someone self destruct and Al Anon has helped me see how I need to give people the dignity to live life on their own terms. I have worked very hard on acceptance, it's not easy but peace and serenity can be found. Sending you support and hugs today!
Agree with Jerry-find a alanon meeting, where you will find that you are not alone. It will help you tremendously. It is not coincidental that you found this site. Alison
I hope you can find some Al-anon or Al-ateen face to face meetings in your area. That is what helped me to deal with the alcoholic's in my life. The book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews was very helpful. Sending you love and support on your journey!
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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Hun, the good news is that you can find help and support for YOU and learn how to better cope with the situation. But the bad news is, you can't save another person from an addiction. They have to be willing to save themselves. Keep coming back here to this forum and talking, and find alanon meetings to go to in your area. They really are a great help and support system for people like us. What you can also do is offer for your father to go to AA and help himself and see of he's willing to do that. But only until he's ready to get help will something be able to actually change with him.
