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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Just started alanon/naranon meetings.
Post Info TOPIC: Just started alanon/naranon meetings.
AsphyxiateOnMisery


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Just started alanon/naranon meetings.
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Hi, my name is Tanya. Basically, my fiancé is a heroin addict and he's been bingeing for the past year with only as much as a week or 2 clean at most, every now and then. I just recently started going to meetings as recommended by my psychiatrist and I've only attended like 2 so far but I think I'm already getting a few things out of them and I'm hoping they may be able to help me in the long run. Just as the addict needs to hit their "rock bottom" in order to stop, I already feel as though I've hit mine. I'm tired of the lies and the hurt, having to watch him ruin both of our lives when we have the potential for a decent future together. And I say both of our lives because as many other people in alanon/naranon, I am very attached to my fiancé and cannot imagine my life without him. In addition to being attached though, I also have Borderline Personality Disorder, which doesn't help me any and, in fact, makes things a lot worse sometimes. We are both sick, but with different diseases. I have gotten to the point of being suicidal before. I have begged and pleaded with him to stop, tried to force him to stop, reacted with anger, hostility, and depression when i knew or suspected he got high. I've blamed and accused him of things, worried constantly, yelled and screamed, and then in the end just enabled him to keep doing it without even realizing I was an enabler. I have done many things wrong in the past and finally realized that none of those things work. I have tried to change my behaviors, actions and reactions and stay neutral to the things I cannot control. And I am hoping that alanon/naranon will continue to help me focus more on myself and my needs, while he focuses on his because only he can choose to stop whenever he wants to do so.

-- Edited by AsphyxiateOnMisery on Thursday 12th of April 2012 10:19:59 PM

-- Edited by AsphyxiateOnMisery on Thursday 12th of April 2012 10:22:48 PM

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Breakingfree


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Hi and welcome to MIP! I am glad you found us and I hope you keep coming back! My only suggestion right now is read all the material you can get your hands on from Al-anon/Naranon face to face meetings and on the MIP site. The book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews and "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie might be helpful to you also. I am sending you love and support on your journey!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

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Wolfie55


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Oh you gonna fit right in here. We all have borderline something or other. Well, I do. I cant really speak for them....lol...Welcome to MIP.

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hotrod


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Welcome to Miracles in Progress

I too am glad that you found us.  It sounds as if you have a great deal of clarity about the disease of alcoholism. 

Alanon Face to Face meetings helped me to break the isolation,stopped me  using the destructive tools that you described  and gave me constructive tools that helped save my sanity and life. 

Just in case you do not have a listing of meetings you can get help

By going to the following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

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BRAlanon


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You are on your way. Keep coming back!

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AsphyxiateOnMisery


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Breakingfree wrote:

Hi and welcome to MIP! I am glad you found us and I hope you keep coming back! My only suggestion right now is read all the material you can get your hands on from Al-anon/Naranon face to face meetings and on the MIP site. The book "Getting Them Sober" by Toby Rice Drews and "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie might be helpful to you also. I am sending you love and support on your journey!

Hi Breakingfree, thanks for the reading suggestions, I will definitely look those up. Also, thanks for the support. I'm heading to an alanon meeting right now as I write this, and hoping to gain some coping skills today and tools to stay sane.

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AsphyxiateOnMisery


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Wolfie55 wrote:

Oh you gonna fit right in here. We all have borderline something or other. Well, I do. I cant really speak for them....lol...Welcome to MIP.

Lol okay, we'll that's good. I mean, not good that other people have mental illnesses too, but you know what I mean :p I find it especially hard to break free of the codependency while having BPD, and I'm sure other people here with mental disorders do as well.

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AsphyxiateOnMisery


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hotrod wrote:

Welcome to Miracles in Progress

I too am glad that you found us.  It sounds as if you have a great deal of clarity about the disease of alcoholism. 

Alanon Face to Face meetings helped me to break the isolation,stopped me  using the destructive tools that you described  and gave me constructive tools that helped save my sanity and life. 

Just in case you do not have a listing of meetings you can get help

By going to the following link:

http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/meetings/meeting.html

Yes, I've been dealing with my addict's using for over a year now, and have learned a lot of things along the way about what to do and what not to do. Still, however, my emotions stop me from doing the right thing sometimes and that is where I am hoping naranon/alanon will help me. I do have a list of meetings, both online that I can look at, and on paper. Thanks for your support.

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AsphyxiateOnMisery


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I just have a quick question to you all, is it okay to make a progress thread on here, or are these just introductions? (Can I keep this thread as my progress thread?)

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hotrod


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HI It

There is no rule about progress threads. It is personal preference 

 I believe that new topics after introductions work best.  More members view a new topic and tend to pass over a thread they have already read or posted to

Keep posting in any event



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
pinkchip


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Heya, welcome. It sounds like you found a really good resource in Alanon/Naranon and are already working it. The BPD is not a hindrance to you in Alanon per say. You will probably learn things to help with that as well. The 12 steps, sponsorship, meeeings, have helped me with my mental health issues (not cured, but helped). Look forward to hearing more from ya!

Mark

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