Day 1 was yesterday. Was involved w/ someone who fell off the wagon the week before we started dating a year ago Feb. He wanted to "socially drink" and thought it wasn't a problem b/c he was a former cocaine user. Within 3 weeks it led to total drunkeness, and then I became aware he had to have Xanex to sleep every night (full bars at times), taking handfuls of Adepix (ADHD drug, I think) in the morning, and was on steroids, as well. I've never witnessed such a roller coaster ride of emotions and behaviors. The catch was that we had quickly fallen in love (even though I've been married twice and have many wonderful, loving, healty relationships and would have never imagined finding myself in one like this). My relationship with this addict, ended abruptly by him after 6 months, then we went through 6 weeks of staying in touch, and got back together only for me to find it crazier than ever for 6 weeks. I ended it in early Nov. He's reached out to say, "hi" via text a few times. I finally reached out a couple of weeks ago thinking it had been long enough for us to "make peace". I had heard he was using worse than before. I didn't listen. Met up with him. I allowed myself to be caught back up in the whirlwind for 2 days with him. Found out about NUMEROUS people he was having sex with (no normal for him, I don't think), he was fall down drunk, slurring words, can't remember what he's doing, canceling his clients (as a personal trainer) left and right. I banded together with friends who said it was time for an intervention. 3 of us met up with him - 2 of them his friends from the program who are sober. It was a complete disaster. He screamed at me mainly that he hated me and wanted me out of his 'xxxx' life. I started Al Anon yesterday. I never thought I'd find it difficult to let someone like him go, or stay free from him. Going through a lot of "self loathing", you could say.