The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
i have been attending f2f meetings and I realize that my AS is too dependent on me. I know this is how I contributed to his addition. I am going out of town for a few days and he is worried about his transportation as he can not drive and we live miles from town, he is stressed about making it to work. he is living with us temporaly he is fresh out of treatment and we took him in til he gets on his feet. My question is how do you detach. I feel that we have good boundries set just not sure how he is to be more independant.
Hi I am new too and have been posting about my son, I just want you to know I am thinking of you as this is so very difficult and seems so confusing and painful, but hopefully we have found the right place,
Aloha and welcome to the board and what worked for me...a full time member of the Al-Anon Family Groups at that time was to sit down with my Alcoholic/Addict son and after taking back the keys to my car...brain worked the many and various alternatives he could come up with that could fulfill his needs. Only a small part of it was sporatic dependency on my physical/material support and only when I agreed to. I know the disease from both sides of the fence. I had a whole collection of alcoholic/addicts at one time who I tried to keep herd on and never succeeded with. I honored him when I affirmed that he had the "time, ability and facility" to get his needs met and I gave up the thought that "he couldn't and I just had to". That is sooo far from the truth and reality. Let him discover his alternatives and when he finds some that work for him...smile, say "good job" and go on with what you were intending on doing.
