The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
What a great message. I always say that working alanon 4th thru 10th Step really finally permitted me to have and express all my feelings and be HUMAN.
This required that I feel all my feelings, explore what I was feeling ( quietly within or with a sponsor) then respond from that plaice.
I could no longer REACT. My usual reaction was to judge my feelings stuff them and pretend I was happy etc.
What a great gift it is to be able to feel feelings and express them appropriately. I could actually feel being happy and express it and feel being angry or sad and say what I mean without saying it mean.
Todays reading in the Courage to Change (Page 96) sums up this truth in a wonderful manner.
So glad you went out and had fun. You are on your way
-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 7th of April 2012 08:34:24 AM
-- Edited by hotrod on Saturday 7th of April 2012 08:34:57 AM
Had a very good meeting with my counselor...which I so needed. It seems he wants me to acknowledge my anger....and respond in appropriate ways. Anger is a signal that people have crossed a boundary...but once I feel angry...right on its heels is SHAME for being angry. Nice girls aren't angry. You all know the drill.
That was another big AHA for me...that anger isn't wrong...in and of itself...that I can honor it and respond accordingly...rather than telling myself I am being unreasonable, stuffing it, and accommodating other people.
So I processed that...and then later went out and met some friends for drinks. This is the first time I have ever joined this group which meets every week after work for the last few years...
and guess what, I had fun. I'm a little rusty in social situations...but I think I can do this again...
maybe the universe is not an unfriendly place...
and thank you all for your kind, supportive insight...
"My usual reaction was to judge my feelings stuff them and pretend I was happy etc."
this is so what I do! and then my anger comes out in feeling depressed, or just a general feeling of irritability because I am not honoring or allowing my feelings...they get stuffed, but then they leak out in other unhealthy ways...
I'm so glad you did something for yourself and it will get easier. The other thing is feelings aren't facts and they don't have to define our actions or who we are they only need to be experienced and let go of.
Ditto on the issue of finding appropriate ways to deal with the anger of the situation .. anger is a very important emotion to learn to deal with in a healthy way.
Hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I always say that working alanon 4th thru 10th Step really finally permitted me to have and express all my feelings and be HUMAN.