The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I know I have shared bits and pieces with the group about my mom, who has been in very poor health for many years, and totally bedridden for the last year. Although she never suffered from alcoholism or drug addiction, she had many hallmarks of a classic addict, and I have been able to use my Al Anon tools to deal with a lot of my very, very mixed feelings about her and her many health problems (all of which were related to lifestyle choices: diabetes, high cholesterol, extreme morbid obesity, etc.). I also think I was able to bring her some comfort during the last 2 years by gently sharing many Al Anon lessons with her, for her to take what she liked and use it to find some serenity surrounding my brother and his substance abuse issues.
She was hospitalized last Saturday night with a systemic MRSA infection. She had a wound on her left leg that had become infected, and the infection then spread into her bloodstream and throughout her body. Although she initially seemed to improve a bit, she took a turn for the worse, and she passed away on Thursday evening.
It was terribly hard to arrive at the hospital and see her suffering so much. She was on a breathing machine, and my dad and brother waited for me to arrive. An hour later, we removed the breathing machine and she passed an hour after that, clearly at peace and not in any pain or distress.
I was very emotional on Thursday, and since then have felt more zombiefied than anything. It's strange to live in a world where I can't pick up the phone and call my mom, but I know she is with her HP and no longer suffering.
I'm so sorry for your loss. Yes, please do extra self care and more than ever rely on your alanon support group here at MIP and especially during real time.
Hugs P
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
(((steph))) Losing one's mother is so damn hard, I know. You have my deepest sympathy on your loss, you will be in my prayers. I hope your good memories of your mom will bring you some comfort.
I am so glad that al anon has been such a help to you. know you are in my thoughts and prayers. Losing a mother, no mater how dysfunctional she is, is a big loss in your life. We are here for you.
Sorry for your loss. Sending you a virtual casserole and a huge hug.
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Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
