The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Since I Started My Al-Anon Journey I have had to go back and look at some pretty ugly things in my past... Not All Ugly but there was many when living in a SICK Home...
I Had a Friend that I Met thru one of my Afathers Drunkin Buddys he brought home a couple times, this man was a Horrible person to say the least, and once I Found out what Kind of Person, I Steared Clear, & I Learned to always go with my Gut!
Long story short, I met his Youngest Daughter when he had to go out of town for the weekend, and My Dad said she could stay with us, I was about 5 at time but I was excited, because I had never had My Own sleep over, and she was my Age so it was Great...Her Father Never showed up for 2 weeks... No Calls Nothing, Just never showed up...
I Learned things from her that Sent Fear thru my Soul.Things as 5-6 years old I Just can't even Fantum in my head. I Never knew if she was telling storys or being truthful, but I always wondered..And When I Found out that Most of True I was Heartbroken... She was my age, Physically, Mentally & Sexually abused by her Father & Older Brothers...
My Mom didn't know what to do when she started puttin all the truths together, so she told her Father that she would Keep her during the summer, so I would have a buddy, and it would Help Mom to have her around... Her & I Became Thick as theives on those Summers, we did everything together, bikes, climbed trees, rode horses, Chase, things Little Children do for fun... We had about 3 summers together...
When I was about 9 Her father came picked her up that summer & I never seen her again... I remember praying to God to look after her, I Cried for a Long time, but i honestly had no idea if I would Ever see her again, if she would Survive...
I have been lookin for her since I Started this Al-Anon journey... Always in the back of my mind, and Just wondering if I would Ever see her again! I searched the net for almost 3 years, and just 2 days ago I started searching Again... With 0% Luck... I didn't know if She married, or was ever back around here, or if she was alive...
TODAY... I walk into the Market, and think I see her... I walk past, saying... It Can't be! no Way! So I walk past her again! lol and Again same thing... So I Start Praying.. Please God! Give me the strength here.. I HAVE To Know! So I Come up behind her & whisper her Name... She Turns around, Clueless... ( I Knew Right away!) I Say with tears in my Eyes.. "You don't remember Me do ya?" She Still in shock shakes her head No... I Give her my 1st Name, and she Smiles Ear to Ear, and Wraps her Arms around me... God had Answered My Prayers!
I had to pick my son Up Across town, so I only got to speak to her for 15 minutes, but I have been Thanking God Ever since for Answered Prayers, Just knowing that she Is OK, Struggling like everyone else but OK! She's ALIVE... She is a Single Mom, has a Son Headin to the marine Core this summer, and daughter that she homeschools that is going to college in the 10th grade, and a 13 yr old son...
We didn't get to talk about alot but I Did get her # and we are Plannin to hook up one evenning and Catch UP! 3 decades worth! Oh God is So Great... I Knew if She was Alive, At Some point i would find her, but whats the odds its 2 days after i Search for her Yet again on the Net.(to which she does not Have at all..lol) .. And then I Really chuckled when she told me She Knew She would see me Soon... I Ask Why & She said just a couple weeks ago she had a dream about us... :0)
Her Life Doesn't Sound like it is anything but Easy...She Just a Month ago said she had a Heart attach.. and Almost wasn't Here at all... I have Thanked HP so Many times for Returning her to me, to my Life, and Many times just knowing she isn't that far away, and we can get together as much as we want too...
I don't know why God Picked Now but he did! I Don't think the Timing could have been any better really... I told her of Loosing Dad to this desease and she said she Quit Drinkin herself just about 5 years ago, to which I told her I did the same, 17months ago...
We have Many Things to Catch up on... but Just Knowing that she Survived... Is ALL that I Need Right now... Knowing I Have a Chance to Be there for Her Like I Wanted to be So Long ago... We had Great Memory's during those Summers, and I Often wondered if those times, helped her see Good... Instead of the Evil to which she was forced to live... Her Mom had Died When she was Young, and I was always told by the hand of her Father, but nothing ever happened to him for it...
My Spirit has once again been lifted, when I least expected it... All week I have just had this Urge of Something Wonderful.. 'Be Still, Be Patient, Let Go Let God"... And Now! I GET IT! It was all part of the plan, it all happened as it should... Just Seeing her Smile again was Enough... but Knowing that she too was Happy to see me, Lifted me beyond belief...
I have learned I Can No Longer "Save Her" from her Past, Or Me From Mine... but I sure can choose to be here for her Future, Our Furture... .All thanks to My HP & My Patients... 30yrs later & Here we Are... Those same to Lt. Girls, with now Children of Our own... What a True Blessing from HP, What a True Miricle that she is Still here... I am So Very Grateful for the chance to get to know such an old Friend... All Over again!
Thank you so very much for your share tonight it brought lots of smiles!!
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
I have learned I Can No Longer "Save Her" from her Past, Or Me From Mine... but I sure can choose to be here for her Future, Our Future... .All thanks to My HP & My Patience... 30yrs later & Here we Are
As always a heart warmning inspirational share. I love the idea expressed above: You are so right, we cannot change the past, however we can accept it and then choose to have a faith filled future. That is what recovery and alanon is all about.
