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I used to work as a sales rep for a beer distributorship for about 12 years. We had several brands of N/A beer and ALL of the contained a small bit of alcohol. Here is an article about N/A beers and alcohol content. http://alcohol-statistics-in-europe.own69.com/non_alcoholic_beer_contains_alcohol/ Here is a quote from the article "It is important to note that non-alcoholic beer contains alcohol, and thatnone of the beers currently on the market are completely alcohol free."
As for the person doing the drinking of this brew, well IMO they are not sober and have slipped BUT Al-Anon has taught me that what others do in their program is their business. They have a program and have the right to "work" it as they choose just as I have a program to work as I choose.
I do find it sad and shocking tht some in AA will drink N/A beer and fool themeslves into thinking they are sober. You can get drunk off N/A beer if you dink enough of it. To me even if n/a beer was 0% alcohol, and it isn't, If I were in AA recovery I would not touch the stuff becausde the taste in and of itself would make me crave the good stuff and would eventuall lead to a slip......
But again, it's not my business to work their program for them. Heck I struggle with Al-Anon enough, I don;t need to take on anyone else's program.
-- Edited by BRAlanon on Thursday 29th of March 2012 09:45:39 AM
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When my AH was dry for 15 years he occasionally would drink NA beer. Actually, he'd go through periods where he'd binge on it for short periods of time and then not buy it for months. One of the things he was doing recently, before the DUI, is mixing NA beer with regular beer when he was around me to make it look like he was just drinking NA.
He had 2 NA beers left in the fridge from before the DUI and I left them there. They were in the trash last night and I smelled it on him. Now, I know he used to drink NA beer on and off for 15 years, but since I don't trust him 100% yet I have to admit I had a hard time with it. I didn't say anything because I do think that's all he drank but I don't particularly think that NA beer is such a good idea if you're quitting drinking, is it? I mean, it's like you're just using a psychological twist here. Sure, it's NA but why do you feel the compulsion to pour that beer in that particular glass? I don't know, there's something about it that just bugs me. Thoughts?
It's a terrible idea for someone in early recovery. But then again, he isn't really in recovery. He's just quitting. It probably wont make him relapse but that's basically playing with fire.
My sponsor and several old-timers I know will drink NA beer but they have years in the program and they have tools to recognize and fight off relapse. Other folks in the program have spouted "Non-alcoholic beer is for non-alcoholics!!" This is a hot topic in meetings and in the AA program in general. Even those who find themselves able to drink NA beer will say that it's not a good idea for everyone and it's definitely not good for someone newly sober. I know that for me, when I first got sober, the smell of beer and alcohol frightened me. I was scared about what I had become because of alcohol and I ran the other way when I even smelled or saw alcohol. It took quite some time for me to be able to be near people drinking or even the smell of alcohol because I was afraid it would find a way to sneak inside my body despite my wanting to stay sober. I was also praying for God's help to stay sober and drinking NA beer (which has alcohol in it) seemed kind of like pissing on God and all the help I was getting from AA (but that is just me).
For you ILD, this is a separate issue - Again, you are powerless over his silly choices and anti-recovery mindset. You already know that much of what he does flies in the face of a 12 step program. I guess you have to turn this one over to your HP and pray on it.
It's different for different people. I have friends in recovery who will not even drink orange juice because of the trace alcohol in it let alone NA beer. Then I have friends in recovery who drink NA beer without any trouble. My husband has been sober for 19 years and has drank NA beer from the start of his sobriety. He might be the exception, I don't know.
I think the important thing is to try and keep the focus on yourself and not on what your husband is doing. All the concern in the world won't prevent anything but it sure can make a person crazy with worry.
Melody
-- Edited by Melody F on Thursday 29th of March 2012 04:29:40 PM
I have never heard of non alcoholic beer because you still have to be 21 to buy it. So it has alcohol in it.
Completely concur with Pink .. you gotta put the focus of what he is or is not doing back on you and what YOU are doing.
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Hey, BRalanon, my AH used to work for Miller Brewing company as a sales rep when we first met. When he quit that job, he quit drinking but he's always been a beer guy and I figure that the NA stuff just meets his beer cravings.
Pinkchip, it's funny. On Sunday night we went to a friend's house(well, it's one of AH's tennis buddies) and we had dinner with them. The guy is a beer LOVER. 1/3 of their fridge is filled with all kinds of beer and his wife(she's an emergency room physician) says that he just loves his beer but he's not an alchy. She says these things to me when the guys go out for a ride in their Porsche. She is always defending his beer consumption and, mind you, I never ask. It's kinda weird to hear an educated woman who is very respected in her field to defend her husband's alcohol consumption. I have a feeling that it's on her mind more than it seems. Anyway, he had 2 Guinness beers while we were there and I could smell it across the room so I know my AH could smell it too. I kept wondering if that would trigger a 'desire' to have a beer or something with him.
Well, either way, I know I need to work on me. I was just wondering what the consensus was regarding NA beer. What drives me nuts is that he used finish off a 6 pack of NA stuff over the years, and I hated the fact that it cost the same as regular beer. Just seems like empty calories and a waste of money to me. Oh, and what's funny too is that he has been using his Gordon Biersch pint glass to have his iced tea and stuff, too. He says it's because he likes the shape of the glass, LOL! Honestly, I don't sit there and think, "Now, which glass would serve my iced tea better? The pint glass, the one with the narrow base, or maybe I should grab the one that's rounded? Hmmm, such tough choices." No, I grab the first glass in the cabinet and pour my tea, water, soda, or whatever. I never realized how compulsive he is about his choice of glassware!
Drinking "Near Beer" is what we call "flirting" with the disease. "Near Beer" came about when I was 16-17yoa and drinking pretty regularly. One of our drinking guys told us about it and we sure enough went down to the liquor store and bought a couple of 6pack shorties without an ID and without any problems and went back out to the car to drink. Sure enough all of us agreed within the first several gulps "this isn't it" "This isn't what we drink for and we ditched the Near Beer and went down the street and stole a couple of cases of the real thing...Drunk and Drama...that's what we were about then. I don't "flirt" drinking almost killed me after it killed alot of other important stuff in my life. I don't invite relapse...other people can do what they think they can do and it's none of my business. Don't blame, don't judge, don't waste your time on something you can admit to that you're powerless over. Go give yourself something real or help someone else get something real. Great thread...((((hugs))))
-- Edited by Jerry F on Thursday 29th of March 2012 06:26:34 PM
Alcoholic beers actually do have a tiny percentage of alcohol in them, they are not truly "non"-alcoholic. It says so right on the label in tiny little print.
Everything about our disease is habit. Either way you cannot grasp sobriety for him but you can set your own consequences around what you are willing to toelrate and what you will not. Detach with loving compassion from his issues, feelings and consequences, they are his to make.
Slips for both of us (A's and codies alike) can strengthen our resolve and help us to re-evaluate our programs, goals and life in general.
I think it is a dangerous and slippery slope that feel, looks and tastes just like what they are so "allergic" to. I would not buy it for them or hand it to them, even if they asked me to push it across the table three inches - no I am not touching the very thing that has destroyed so many lives. Denial runs deep and it is so very painful to come out of.
I know there is nothing I can do or say to help an A "see the light." Give him plenty of space and dignity to sort out his own issues while you continue to process yours. I am glad you are here, kcb.
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When my AH was about to relapse he started with the NyQuil. You can drink enough NyQuil to get a buzz. I later talked to a friend who works at the psych unit at the local hospital and she said that drinking all kinds of "gateway" liquids is common for people who want to deny to themselves that they're relapsing.
Some people seem to do fine on NA beer, some don't. The fact is that the truth will come out soon enough. If he's going to remain sober, he will choose the right decisions to do that. If he's not, his drinking is going to get worse, and at some point it will get so that you won't have to wonder because the evidence will be very plain.
It can be stressful not knowing what the future holds - that's why it's so important to take good care of ourselves all the time.
I don't think it matters what the substance is.. if you can identify with the pattern within yourself that triggers your codependency/addiction/need for the alanon tools.. then go with that gut instinct. You are powerless over ... your addict...
To me, it seems akin to a recovering heroin addict injecting...saline or something.
The compulsion/ritual is still there.
Furthermore, the fact alone that it bothers you and affects your trust of him means it IS a problem, for you.
I'm not sure what you do with that! But I think you have every reason to be concerned.
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Only to the extent that we expose ourselves over and over to annihilation can that which is indestructible be found in us. -from Pema Chödron's When Things Fall Apart
