The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I usually take the day off from work for my daughters anniversary etc. I think last year I didnt' because I had taken holidays and also had put in my resignation from that job.
Today I was going to go to work. Last night I wondered why I would make this year different. 22 years why this year different... there was a reason last year but not this one.
I guess I thought.. hey.. its been 2 years already... get over it you sould be fine to go to work, you are just using it as an excuse for a sick day.
Then I thought ... ya know what.. I am fine with it. I am fine with taking the time to spend with my daughter in spirit. I woke up in time to go to work and decided not to.
Not because I was crying too much, or too sad to concentrate, but because I wanted to take my dog, my daughter whom I know is with me in spirit today, and go for a walk to the beautiful area of the foreshore where I always feel the connectoin iwth the universal energy.
I am so glad I did. It was a magnificently beautiful day. The dry season is starting, the monsoon season slowing down, birds everywhere, the roll of the high tide and the meandering clouds. A particular tree kept beconing me over, I walked it twice then let myself be drawn to it. It was an old rain tree or banyan tree I think. (same as the one buddah sat under apparently) and I just touched it. I felt the energy from that tree. Iknow that sounds crazy but I did. I stood up tall and closed my eyes and that tree opened my heart and I just stood there smiling like a crazy person.
I was so very calm and at peace. I know she walked with me today. My whole body was tingling and I felt floaty. I now have a massively huuuuge headache.
It was a beautiful day and I am glad I decided to take the time to honour it and not push myself to just go to work and 'get on with it'.
I don't think anyone ever "gets over" something like that! I think it's wonderful that you dedicate the day and remember and share with her. It's beautiful, don't ever give it up. That's a definite "soul filler" for you. Hugs, I can't imagine losing one of my kids.
