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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Why now!
Post Info TOPIC: Why now!
surfgirl123


Senior Member

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Why now!
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So, Ive been working my program and doing pretty well. I thought my ah was doing well too, until today. I left yesterday on a business trip. I get a text today from a woman I don't know explaining she went to school w my husband and that last night he sent her a text that only read "?", she says he propositioned her before but she blew it off. Her husband saw the text from last night & asked my husband what it meant, my husband said it was a misdial. When I spoke to her she sounded like a very nice person, she said her husband told her to contact me as I should know what my husband is up to. So I leave town and he can't get thru one night , I can only assume he was drinking. When I spoke to her she did say she might have misinterpreted my AH's flirtation and she has no other proof to give me. She actually seemed like a very decent person. Now I am alone in a hotel room away from home and I am just sick. Without proof I can only imagine if I confront him be will lie. I thought we had turned a corner and were doing well, I feel like such a fool. Depressed and alone....

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surfgirl123
hotrod


~*Service Worker*~

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Dear Surfgirl

I am sorry this confusion has visited you when you are away on business. Please remember that projecting, reading others  motives and minds are not  alanon tools.  I am glad you shared here, and  if you have a sponsor calling her would also help.

I have always felt that the 111ths Step was very powerful.    Pray only for knowledge of HP's Will and for the power to carry it out.  Trust that you will be guided and try to relax

In my thoughts



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Pushka


~*Service Worker*~

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Hugs, I am soooo sorry. I so agree with Betty .. worry never moved a rock and it's only going to get you upset and anxious. When I have moments like that I have to call my sponsor and talk it through. Praying for God's will is so important. It's all about God's Will NOT Mine Be Done. You have every right to feel what you feel at the moment those things are devastating, the reality is you didn't cause it, you can't control it and you aren't going to fix it being out of town.

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
bud


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2081
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((Surfgirl))

I have felt duped many times when I've invested my heart and someone then has bad behavior, when someone doesn't show up in a relationship/ marriage, when some one else's immaturity, lack of compassion prevails. My Alanon friends remind me that some people are well practiced at deception and can hide the inconsistency that they create, only seeing it for what it is when it erupts into chaos. I have found that some people are going to do whatever it is that they are going to do regardless if I worry, am sad, hurt, or if I try to intervene.

When this happens, I reach out to my HP and Alanon so that I can accept what is and increase my efforts to be good to myself.

In support.



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Isabella8688


Newbie

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Posts: 1
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hotrod wrote:

Dear Surfgirl

I am sorry this confusion has visited you when you are away on business. Please remember that projecting, reading others  motives and minds are not  alanon tools.  I am glad you shared here, and  if you have a sponsor calling her would also help.

I have always felt that the 111ths Step was very powerful.    Pray only for knowledge of HP's Will and for the power to carry it out.  Trust that you will be guided and try to relax

In my thoughts

 
I also think so.
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Breakingfree


~*Service Worker*~

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SSorry this is happening to you. You received great ESH already. Sending you love and support!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
orchidlover


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1036
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This is tough stuff. The ex A was never unfaithful per se but I always felt he betrayed me on so many levels.

I think betrayal is part of the disease of alcoholism.

I am sorry you are having to deal with this.

Maresie.



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orchid lover
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