The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Before I found MIP I had joined another online community for those who are involved with alcoholics or have dealt with alcoholism. Every once in a while I may post there, but I'm not as active there as I am here. Can I just say that this forum is the most loving and supportive forum I have ever been on? I posted something recently over there and I was basically told that I should leave my marriage and that I'm clinging to false hope that he will find his own serenity, etc. They were all getting on me about how I'm not getting anything out of the relationship and were questioning my motivation for staying.
My thread there was basically about how my AH still has his old dry drunk habits which I mentioned here recently: complaining, making fun of groups of people, telling me how to drive, making comments about everyone, being legalistic and sarcastic, etc. And, I made mention to how my AH says he's 'rehabilitated already' and that the DUI was all he needed to get sober. Boy, those folks on that message board made me feel like I am the stupidest person on the face of the planet. I know many of them are involved in Al Anon but I'm feeling that some may not be. It's so nice to come here and know that we aren't like that here. You all are honest without making anyone feel inferior or 'less than' because of their decisions to stay or to go. I really appreciate the atmosphere here and wanted to share so that others may read this and realize this is a beautiful place to visit. Thanks, Bonnie
I joined something similar, I didn't get the reaction you did exactly the same, but what I got out of it was, the person that jumped on me, was reacting to their own stuff. Now we all do that, but when I politely asked her about that being possible, she went even more off the deep end (confirming it was her stuff). Most of the other replies were fine but I like that this is monitored and we get a 'check' if we cross a line.
Personally it helps me anyway to know if I went past ESH. This forum seems very balanced, I agree.
((((B))))...that is only one of the things I learned in the Family Groups...when you learn how to love unconditionally loving any other way just doesn't soothe the spirit quiet as well and make me feel healthy. Another was you get what you give...I'd rather get unconditional love and support than anymore of what I got in my alcoholic/addict relationships.
Adding my thanks for MIP as I experienced similar feedback in other forums both virtual and reality based. MIP is a constant miracle in progress itself. There has never been an interaction here that has not helped my growth.