The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Things went well in court...no surprises. He got 1/2 my retirement and I agreed that he did not have to pay any child support (he has not worked in almost 2 years). No sense trying to get blood from a turnip.
It was sad...seeing what he has become...and I have honestly never felt bad for him before. I just was so struck how sad this is...
Now -- he has no home, no job, no money, no health insurance.
After he asks me to not "rush off" and take him off my employer's health insurance because he has a doctor's appointment on Monday. I quietly said, that is a legal decision, and not mine to make. I can't change the date of the divorce. He says he just can't afford $100 doctor's appointment.
He is still so stuck. Still wants me to make everything okay.
I will heal from this...and I only pray my kids will be safe when they visit him..
thank you all for your prayers today...I could feel the ESH. And I only teared up a little...
-- Edited by rehprof on Monday 19th of March 2012 02:15:16 PM
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
It helped me to focus on the questions and not think about all the events leading to the divorce courtroom appearance. The professional atmosphere made it easier to stay detached. Thinking of you today.
You are a brave girl. I wish I had had your courage and smarts when I was young enought to make the break. I'm standing here feeling shaky because I got yelled at because HE is upset about something that has nothing to do with me. I'll probably have to move to a home before I get too old.
Hugs, Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
It's okay to cry...Let your heart be human and be honest...this is not the way it is designed or how it was intended. Alcoholism destroys lives after it bruises the hell out of them. My prayers and experience are with you. Been there and done that and stayed honest...I cried and that's not a sign of weakness. (((((hugs)))))
So sad. My life mirrors yours in so many ways. I'm going to be filing for divorce soon. My AHhas no job, soon he will have no home, he will have no health insurance once our divorce becomes final, he is on probation for a DUI, has untreated diabetes, and has lost his business (so he has many debtors). We've been married 30 years this May. The difference is that my kids are grown and out of the house, so I won't have to deal with support and visitation issues. I'm sure he will ask for half my retirement, and possibly even spousal support, although he has an MBA and job skills.
Such a nasty disease! Keep on keeping on- you're on a good path.
the ex A who I was with had insurance (he was a veteran) there are programs that can help if you are indigent.
The ex A managed to get me to make everything okay to the tune of thousands of dollars once I left him. Nothing made any difference. He chose daily to destroy himself. He always had someone to blame.
What a tough day! It must have been very hard to go through, but it sounds like you've handled the day with strength and grace. Hugs, prayers and positive thoughts your way!
