The material presented
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Hello all...I am ever so grateful for this worldwide fellowship and this room,11yrs ago I stumbled upon it in my quest to understand addicition and its effects it had on me as a spouse of an alcoholic...I breeze in and out over the years when I need to "get right" and feel so not alone. Fast forward and here I am again, but this time as a parent of addicits...My oldest two children have battled addiciton for the last couple of years..my 17 yr old son first ,when he was 14, and now my oldest child..whom is now an adult child at 19, approaching 20...she surrendered 2 wks back again, and this time for heroin addicition, being her drug of choice ,but the list is endless...she was arrested for retail theft back in Nov and though she had been away at college living, I knew in heart that she was still acively using, I could only pray as I knew I am powerless...that is until I learned of the heroin, and my panic and confusion went into full bloom...again..I am here this a.m to remind mself theu reading all of your posts that I truly am powerless and that I have got to put the focus back on me and go back to that oh so familiar dance step of 1,2,3...I can't ,He can, sooooo Let Him...So thank you all for being here ,sharing your own ESH with me ,and reminding me to keep it simple and keep coming back.it works if I work it, love and hugs to old and new alike ~ Carla
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"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
welcome back. Do you go to face to face meetings? It was key for me to find a home group and build some relationships. I have people to call now and people to see. It helps. My husband is a drug addict along with being an alcoholic. Its hard because I fear he will die. He has been in recovery for four months so I try not to let my mind slip that way and keep the hope alive but you always think in the back of your mind.. you know... its scary stuff. And I have absolutely NO control over it. If he decides to use tomorrow, its out of my hands. What I do then, I have control over, but controlling him is not one of them. Thanks to my HP for guiding me into al-anon, because, youre right, it does work.. if you work it. Keep coming back.
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Thanks Michelle for your response! I do go to f2f meetings ,pretty infrequently, but in search of a home group currently. I do have contact with alot of program folks on a regular basis, so blessed.. but I agree people who make meetings make it...I lived it, and witness it all the time..so great reminder for me, thank you so much for sharing, glad ur here ;)
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"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
Welcome Home. So glad that you remembered how to find the support you need at this painful time. I know personally the addiction of a child is much more difficult to deal with. I always felt that as a parent I should be able to fix, control or change it"
You are wise in finding a home group and going back to the Steps they are the key
All I can say is I am so sorry that your family has gotten the genetic curse of addiction. When they really get recovery, it's an asset in many ways and not a curse but it's touch and go and you are so powerless over when, how, and what it will take to have them get sober. Prayers for you and your family.
I know how much it hurts, both of my children are A/A's and one grandson, it is very painful, this program and my HP (God) saved me. I read in my devotional book that my HP (God) want me to have joy, peace, assurance, health, happiness and laughter. It give Him pleasure. Have a wonderful day to you all.! Highlyfavored!!
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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
From the Pacific...welcome home Carla. I relate and your experience helps me also accept I am powerless completely. One of my sons is a non using non drinking man...he didn't get that from within AA but from with in another organization and thanks HP for that. I wonder if God gets paid overtime cause it sure seems that God works overtime all the time. I will remember you and your children in my prayers because I read your post and hear that old, loud sucking sound in my spirit. Do what you gotta do for Carla and keep repeating "I am not alone in this, I am not alone in this." We're here with you and for you. ((((hugs))))
Ty all for the love and support I can always count on no matter what alanon forum I find myself ;) Very grateful...Went for family day at the rehab this afternoon and had the gift of attending a family group meeting with my daughter and my oldest son...it was real, and raw but much needed for us all! and she looks and sounds fab-O this 24hrs....ty God...even if only this 24 ,I was a witness, a gift. love to all ;)
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"I have held many things in my hands, and I have lost them all; but whatever I have placed in God's hands, that I still possess."
Carla, welcome back! The pain and chaos of addiction is too much for us to deal with alone. But you're NOT alone! Alanon and this board can be such a big help. Glad you're here, keep coming back!
