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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> detaching is hard but has to be done
Post Info TOPIC: detaching is hard but has to be done
Tracy


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detaching is hard but has to be done
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Hi my ex ABf turned up at 5 this morning full of drink and drungs.

I opended the bedroom window and asked him to leae nicely.  He climbed the fence and started throwing stones at my bedroom window.

My 19 years old son went down stairs and told him to leave.  He kept asking for me saying he has no where to go.

My son was not as nice as i would have been.  HE LEFT.

I worried but I know I am powerless, I prayed he knows were the help is.  I can not save him only he can.  I have done lots of work on myself lately and realise I have internal tapes from childhood to be a caregiver.  I find it really hard to detach when someone is hurting.

I am trying to focus on me he is an adult.

I care for him  but I am trying to learn how to care for me.

I hope he is o.k, I am going to my Saturday morning meeting now.

this disease is a nightmare I have to fight it I am sick of it stealing my serenity.  I know you all understand, it is so hard to love and take care of yourself when people you care for are out of control but what else is there I can not go back to the crazy days of trying to fix an alcoholic I HAVE LEARNT I CAN NOT>

 

thanks

tracy xxx



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danni


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I'm so glad you posted this. It is just what I needed to read this morning. Sending you support!

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hotrod


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Dear Tracy

This is indeed a difficult road.  Thank God for alanon and meetings.

Keep taking care of yourself and trust HP

You are not alone,



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
Pushka


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Hugs Tracy,

I call it dropping the rope. Life gets a whole lot easier when you can let go of the rope and the tug of war that is going on between the addict and their drug/s of choice. The natural consequences of those choices are not easy, .. it leads to so much more empowerment for yourself as well as knowing that the the world is not going to stop spinning.

Take care of you, be easy on yourself, and keep doing the good hard work that is necessary for you to continue in your healing!!!

Hugs p :)



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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Breakingfree


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Sending you love and support!!!

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Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree

Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666

" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."

"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
Michelle814


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I think you did the right thing even though it is hard.

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Michelle!

No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
rehprof


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Do you have a safety plan if he shows up and escalates?



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