I have been working soooo hard to take those signs down and it is kind of scary at the same time it has been a wonderful feeling.  I'm still not good in social situations that's ok .. hopefully people will just overlook my quirks that way.  Note to self .. keep your hands out of someone else's coffee!!!

The past 3 days have been crazy, crazy, crazy, .. and I love love love it!!!

First off, the kids and I have such a good time when we go out together .. I think they are kind of wondering what is my mother going to do next.  We've had some really fun times talking to people around town and just kind of joking with each other.  The last 2 1/2 weeks has not been so fun and I went down a pretty icky path of going back to some bad behavior .. gotta love logs, jolts and hands in coffee .. lol. 

We live on a well and the water is way bad I mean as far as hard and stuff so I have to have water softener .. the machine has been acting up and I've needed to call.  The best thing about making that call is that I could without the embarrassment of not being able to have someone come in OR stressing out so hard that I couldn't have someone come in because I was completely paralyzed in fear.  Not only did the service guy come one day he came back another day!!!  Granted no home and garden here, .. I can have people over and not freak out.  Every day the house is getting more and more amazing!!!  I'm going to keep moving forward on that no matter what. 

Then that original day a tree service shows up, we've gotten wood from them before and dumped 2 truck loads of walnut wood that now needs to be split for next winter in my yard .. ROFL!!!  Ummm .. can we say I will be in pretty good shape by the time fall gets here.  That stuff is going to be hard to split I actually have a plan of finding people to help, heck they have have some wood as well there is a LOT. I'm not worried about it getting done I know it's going to get done it's just going to be a matter of when. 

Yesterday I went and I played pool.  WOW .. I forgot how much I have missed playing.  I would say if I had to pick a passion this would be it for me.  I can loose myself for hours in a pool table.  I don't drink when I play.  Ironically, I haven't had a drink since I went to visit my mother and I'm attending 2 AA meetings a week .. LOL.   Oi .. I have a long way to go in recovery.  I already know it would be an easy path for me to go down right now and during all this craziness I have avoided numbing out.  This last week I am all about recovery and dropping the rope .. I no longer need it. 

What was so cool was that someone there asked me to sign up for leagues in the next go around.  Just leagues in general .. lol .. which was a really nice compliment after being out of the game for so long.  I really want to and it could work it out as there are a lot of different leagues throughout the town and they even have day leagues.  We chatted for a bit and I really didn't play any real games or anything.  It just was soooo good to kick around some balls and that is a game where I feel uber empowered.  I need a new pool cue .. lol.  I've already got something lined up on that as well.  It was an inexpensive way to kill a couple of hours yesterday afternoon and I LOVED it!!!  Two days a week I can play all day long if I want to for 5$ the entire day.  I will be doing that at min once during the day and during an afternoon later on. 

I'm still going to check out archery .. I really do like hand eye coordination stuff .. maybe I will go and check out the firing range .. we'll see.  I haven't decided if that's a good idea yet. 

It took long enough to remember something from my past that was a positive thing that I loved to do.  That I used to do all over town both here and in my home town before children.  It's also something I can do now that I have children .. I really cut that out of my life thinking I just had to stop that part it. 

The weekend is coming and I'm so excited to see what that presents in terms of new discoveries and getting things done around here.  My burn pile is starting to build back up already!!

Hugs P :)