I turned my phone back on... - Al-Anon Family Group

Corgi2 · Veteran Member

I turned my phone back on...

Debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

Corgi you just reminded me of this. My Ah would call me from work or where ever just to check in and say hi. I swear he talked my ear off! It was great. He could say so many things on the phone easily. This was when he was in recovery.

They are such different bugs aren't they? Well my ex AH is not the type to contact after he leaves. He just goes away. that is that.

He does that to everyone. I think I would like him to call time to time just to check in and catch me up.

sigh. hugs honey, uno with mine, when things started getting icky, right then I would say ok honey love you gotta go. Would do this living right there with him too. Made no big deal, just came up with oh shower time, then slip out, or gotta feed the horses. out I would go. He never got what I was doing.

give your critters hugs for me.I am on my recliner with four of my dogs! lol love,debilyn

pinkchip · ~*Service Worker*~

It happens at midnight because it's a game...He waits until it is clear you are not going to call him, and then he calls you. You are setting boundaries here and it's not easy because it's against what you are used to. You feel like you are being mean while you are really just being assertive but he also calls you names so you are inclined to go back to believing those things he calls you. The only thing you really have to answer to is your higher power.

Mattie · ~*Service Worker*~

I think people also feel their troubles more deeply at night, because there's less other stuff going on. And so what better way to distract from that feeling than to stir up turmoil? In my experience, they don't think this through like that. They just feel restless and anxious, and they look around for someone to be mad at, and there it all goes.

Pushka · ~*Service Worker*~

I had tried to post something earlier and it didn't post, regarding the fact you don't have to read or listen to hateful messages sometimes it's just best to hit the delete key and have it be done. Unless it's something you need for a TRO .. that's a different situation then you only have to save them you don't have to listen to them. What purpose does it serve to hear someone be hateful when you know that it's not really what they want to say or do. It truly is the disease and it's something that if they were sober they wouldn't be doing.

In the past with other people I have ended conversations by saying it sounds like you don't feel well, we can talk in the morning, hang up the phone and unplug it. There is no need to put up with that kind of behavior. I usually only had to do it one or two times and the message was received, I got an apology the next day as well as the midnight rant calls stopped.

Hugs it's not easy to love someone who isn't in a place to feel the love that way, P :)

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