The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
My 17 y.o. grandson called this a.m. after 8a.m. when I ask where he was, he said at home. He said he didn't go to school because he didn't have any clean clothes and didn't have money to wash. I asked his why he didn't call me yesterday, I give him $20.00 when he go to church with me on Sunday. There is a washer/dryer in the apt. complex, the dryer doesn't work but no one in the complex is motivated to report it to management. They can wash and take the clothes to laundromat to dry. I told him to tell his mother and work it out with her, of course she won"t be awake until after 12noon. I let my grand son stay with me last year and go to school while my daughter and her live-in boyfriend lived off my grandson"s ssi check, which he get due to a learning disability. He is back with her because she moved into the school district that he want to go to play football ( he didn't keep his grades up in my district.) also when I told her his check was to be used on him, she wanted him back with her. As you can tell, for a moment, I got really frustrated with my daughter and wanted to call her and really tell her off. I know my my grandson is old enough to take care of his own clothes, he may from time to time need some encouragement from me, I know my daughter is unable to provide the support he needs. The dysfunction kids have to live with is really sad with addicted parents. But I know God is in control and has a perfect plan for all concerned.......Highlyfavored!!
-- Edited by Highlyfavored on Monday 12th of March 2012 12:50:21 PM
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Just go a step at a time, one day at a time. And you'll find a rich, thankful life you never thought you could afford.--A Rogers
I'm sorry this is happening. It's hard to tell what's really going on, too -- it may be that his mom's laziness is making the son more depressed/lazy as well -- it's hard to be energetic and efficient when people around you are not. Sadly, it looks as if he'll have to learn how to do this.
One thing I know is that I lived for ten years in a country where hardly anyone has dryers. You just hang up the clothes in the bathroom and drape them over things. (That's how the stockings got hung on the mantel for Santa to fill.) They dry on their own. So he doesn't need to make a trek to the laundromat.
When families have trouble, the presence of one person who's on top of things can really help a child come out of it okay. It sounds as if you are that person. Wishing you strength.
(((highlyfavored))) I'm so sorry you have to deal with this. But as Mattie said and I agree, it's great that your grandson has you in his life to provide some stability. I live in a country where there are no laundromats nearby. I do my laundry by hand in a big plastic tub (after heating water on the stove) and hang it out on the clothesline to dry. It's definitely an inconvenience and I'm sure that this option has probably not occurred to your grandson. But it gets my clothes clean! I know this is hard for you and I salute your efforts to be supportive of your grandson while not enabling his mother. It's a fine line to walk but it seems as if you're managing it. Sending you lots of support.
I am sorry you are going through this and I hear what the others have to say. I know when I was 17, and most of my female friends were 17, we did our own washing. I am not sure if its different for boys. He is 17 and could be totally responsible for his own clean clothes. I do understand though, living with addiction does take away alot of motivation.
I don't own a dryer either. I just hang it out to dry on its own. I have never owned a dryer.
It does make me wonder if there is another reason, apart from clean clothes, that made him not want to go to school.
