The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Just thought I'd post an update. I am still living with my parents with my daughter and it looks like it might be like that for a while until lots of court hearings are done.
He is still living in the house where I have to pay half the mortgage and when I queried if anything had been thought of about the house, I was told he needs more time as he is so devastated over losing my daughter.
Here's my vent: If she was that important to him, he would have made different choices. Or he would be a man and move out of the house. Why do I pay to "live" in two places without my stuff and it's ok for him to be ther. Arg, that and he can't pay any more than a specific amount. He will not correspond with me. I have sent him emails with no response at all.
I am still attending F2F meetings and I will for a long time, the support is amazing.
((("T"))) one of the great things I learned in Al-Anon is that there is not such thing as "have to's". When I learned that I worked up the courage to change some of the things I was doing that I didn't like the consequences of and some of these I changed again as I needed better outcomes. I also dropped asking "why" questions with the help of my sponsor. He told me that if I wasn't ready to accept the fact of what was going on then the only response to a "why" question was another "why" question. I cannot remember the last "why" question I asked about life happening to me the way it was.
You can do things different even when you think you cannot and are stuck with it.
Thanks Jerry, I must stop the why's. There is no answer for them. I need to take control of what I can, change what I can and realize what I can't. I can take care of myself and my daughter, I am in a safe loving place and I can do this. It seems I use the tools, but some days, they just slip on through. I can accept the fact that the relationship is over and that there are circumstances that I just have to go with.
Sending you so much love and support, keep working your program, .. keep coming back :)
Hugs P :)
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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
