The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Hi everyone, I've been struggling lately whether or not to tell you what's going on in my life, I know I need the feedback and support so here goes. As you know my AHisout of state working his new job, I am still in the home trying to sell it, anyway he came home for a visit and had a overdose on Chrystal meth. He admitted this to me as he was dying, or so he thought he was dying. I was so pissed I didn't care if he did die. He say she's not going to do that again and went to 2 AA meetings so far, but I don't beleive anything he says, and basically I'm just waiting to hear of another crisis happening like DUI or drug test at work, and then I truly feel I will leave. I am trying to save enough money to open a secret bank account, j have thoughts of meeting with a lawyer to find out how much money I could possibly get if divorce him. But I feel I'm waiting for one more thing, just need your thoughts and support. I have been going weekly to al anon since this happened.
I know what you are going through and I am here for you through website spirit (haha) in support. I am glad you attend a meeting weekly. I hope you are opening up to people to receive real life support. It is so hard when you are going through it especially when it happens time and time again. Keep the hope alive though.. because as long as the addict is breathing teher is hope.. there is always hope... I found I feel the healthiest, sanest happiest when I focus on me, surround myself in al-anon, and live one day even moment at a time. Here for you!!!!
-- Edited by Michelle814 on Thursday 8th of March 2012 06:50:16 PM
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Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
what i learned in Al-Anon is when in doubt---- don't.
When you know it is enough, it will be clear in your mind. If you force the issue in your head, you will forever have doubts. So just wait. Unless there is something else that is going on?
It may be harsh for me to say this.... but the other thing that is going on with me is that my hubby had cancer, twice. Two different kinds. I know that in my best interest a widowhood is more profitable than a divorce. And we have to think about our best interest. I am also waiting. And trying to be friends and respect the hubby. When my HP wants me to know, then I will know. Until then, be the best me I can be and enjoy my life. I only get one life. I need to feel good about it.
I am a firm believer, GreenerGrass, in creating a plan for an exit strategy, even if you don't need to use it. Most divorce lawyers will consult with you for an hour for free--take advantage of that. That hour could give you a lot of comfort, and the building blocks for a plan, should you ever need it.
GreenerGrass, you are walking a road many of us understand. I take my marriage one day at a time, I have an exit plan, but I know for myself I am not ready to leave yet. I think once you know, you know, before that you are never sure. Don't be too hard on yourself, it's a process of self discovery. It never hurts to understand what leaving will look like, how much it will cost so you can save, what a divorce will look like in terms of seperating your life from your husbands. The only advice I can give you is don't rush, get your ducks in a row and when you are ready you will know and you will be armed with information to make it as easy as possible. Both roads have their pros and cons, only you can chose which is best. Hugs and prayers, sg
an exit plan is a great idea. One day at a time is a great idea When the time is right.. you will know for sure.
When that time comes, its best to be ready.
I am not sure if you have kids or not, I know when I was a kid I knew all about my Mums exit strategy. Where she hid the money etc. I think that caused me alot of confusion and changed my thoughts as a kid. I woudl suggest if you do have kids, just think about what you show them.
