The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Any ESH? I'm really struggling not so much with being angry with other people .. I'm having a hard time because I'm very upset with myself when I don't do what I know I should do!! I am talking emotionally, program and so on. PLUS .. it's that "YOU know better!!!" stuff!
Thanks, P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
Hmm, I'm struggling with this too, since I seem to say things that come out wrong or get manipulated by the AH and then I realize I've walked into a hornet's nest. I have no words of advice but just wanted to say that you're not alone!
My experience is God is going to change me, I am not in control of it. I can be entirely ready, and I can humbly ask, but my experience is, God will change me in God's time. I cannot force the solution, I have to accept me as I am, and be willing to change.... willing.
I love this part of the seventh step prayer: My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.
Please remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to You and my fellows...."
It's been my experience, that my "bad" has been of some "good" to others... I share in a meeting, and others seem to get something from it, it can only be God's work, LOL
I would also add, my husband's alcoholism brought me to al-anon, one of the best things that ever happened to me. Something very, very good came from something "bad"....
Have faith, my friend ((hugs))
__________________
The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
I was so angry with my AH this past weekend that I really felt like I could have punched a wall in. Instead, I pulled out my ODAAT and C2C and read every single reference to the word "anger" until I was able to calm down. Then I said the Serenity Prayer and moved on. Sending you lots of support right now, Pushka.
The topic I would encourage you to look up is "perfectionism."
Part of my perfectionism prayer is,
"Help me to acknowledge my humanity,
to humbly accept my place in the universe
as in imperfect being
in an imperfect world."
Higher power never asked me to "do" anything perfectly, but to "be" perfect just by cultivating silence. When life feels unmanageable, the turning point has come, it's time for me to get quiet so that I can listen.
__________________
The prayer isn't for Higher Power to change our lives, but rather to change us.
My recovery comes in waves. I dont know how it is for you but I will have some really rough weeks where I feel I am making no progress at all, in fact, there are times I think I am down right doing horrible... then I will have a day or a week where this immense wave of progress comes over me... like I can detach and I can focus on me. I can not snoop, I can not nag, I can not control.. I can just be. And I think.. look how far Ive come????? Just because youre having a tough time right now does not mean you are back sliding.. I think its just a bad week. You have gone through ALOT, Pushka, in such a short time.
You got some great ESH, re-read if it helps. We're here for you, Pushka.
__________________
Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
Ahhhh Glad...so right on!! Progress not Perfection; such a most important slogan to sloganize on. LOL
Also Pushka if you don't like the self anger and resentments...replace it with self acceptance (the opposite). You get the opposite consequence and it feels soooo much better. You got good program this must be a growth spurt huh?
Thank you all so much for the ESH and yes I think I'm doing things I'm not comfortable with such as saying no when I mean no, trying to say what I mean and not say it mean. I'm also trying to let go of things and boy oh boy .. that is so not easy and I've had a couple of control issues come and rear up.
I'm walking a slippery slope on a couple of issues of enabling and one I did give away however because the second part affects the kids and myself. I got burned bad last week I'm not willing to let this other one go right this second. Based upon the situation .. right now I don't have to and I won't, it's a total trust issue and nothing changes nothing changes .. it's not on me to earn the trust or give the trust really.
That's part of why I'm mad at myself is good grief I knew better and did it anyway. Oh bother .. anyway, I will be doing lots of reading and a little contemplating. Thank you very much for the suggestions because I will be putting them all into play!
thanks again, P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
((HUGS)) Pushka! I think most of us are our own worst enemies. Whether it's making a bad dietary choice (ice cream for breakfast, anyone?), all the way up to giving our program "the finger" and pulling the world's most co-dependent move...none of us are perfect. We ALL mess up. I sure do. Sending you happy, healing vibes.
