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Miracles In Progress 12 Step Recovery Forums -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Al-Anon Family Group -> Felony charges on husband
Post Info TOPIC: Felony charges on husband
respect


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Felony charges on husband
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My husband stole from me one too many times today. There have been a hundred days just like today that were followed with threats of calling the police, some yelling, some pouting, and then I chalked it up to being just another day in the life of me- and went on with things. 

Today I realized that if anyone else ever stole from me I would turn them in regardless of the consequences for them. And today I asked myself why should it be any different for him. 

I filed a police report, which if it goes through will be a felony charge of theft. 

To my surprise he had a warrant for his arrest out unrelated to this and so he was taken to jail. Which at least puts my mind at ease for where he will sleep tonight. 

I'm stuck here feeling a little proud of myself but mostly saddened by the grip the devil has on a man that could be so wonderful. All I ever wanted was a family with this man. When he puts his arms around me the world melts away. In his arms I feel safe, I feel home, I feel like nothing else matters anymore. That's why it makes this so hard. How can I push someone away from me that feels so good? And how can someone that feels so good be that bad?. 

The truth is I am no good for him either. No matter how well I try to protect my possessions or money from him he finds them and takes them, allowing him to use. So maybe I am his poison as much as he is mine. 

I don't know what the point of this was other than I just needed to tell some people how I was feeling. All I want is my best friend back. But the further I want him the further he seems to run. 

Time to get some sleep. Good night. 



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GailMichelle


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I'm sorry that you are going through this.

The way I see it, what is bad is his choices/behaviors, not him.

Hope you get a good night's sleep!



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You have to go through the darkness to truly know the light.  Lama Surya Das

Resentment is like taking poison & waiting for the other person to die.  Malachy McCourt
hotrod


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Dear Respect

I am so very sorry that you must endure this sadness.  Please continue to be gentle with yourself and know that HP is walking right there beside you.

There is hope.  You are not alone



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Betty

THE HIGHEST FORM OF WISDOM IS KINDNESS

Talmud
tiredtonite


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I hope you get a good  night's sleep and tomorrow will be a little better for you.  It's OK to put yourself first. Keep coming back to share with us.  I'm sorry you're in so much pain right now.  TT



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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Pushka


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Hugs,

That must have been so sad and scary to have to do something like that to someone you love. You have every right to protect yourself and take care of you. Keep coming back you are worth the effort!!

Hugs P :)

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Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
danni


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Sending you so much support. This is so sad, but he is now having to face the consequences of the actions HE took. I think you are amazingly strong, and I am glad you are here sharing your journey. Both you and your husband are in my thoughts and prayers.

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pinkchip


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Tom posted some links about toxic love versus healthy love. Those might seem to apply here. The feelings you have are not wrong persay. But he's not capable of giving them to you and that has you trying to perform the impossible (turn an apple in to an orange).

The "feeling safe, melting away" feelings are mostly healthy love, though it would help if you could also do things to make yourself feel safe and good. The way you described the feelings you get from him almost sounds like he makes you high like a drug.

Don't think I am judging you either cuz I totally have that thing going in my relationships and it's been like pulling teeth to get me to focus on deriving happiness from within so that I was less hurt and vulnerable by my expectations not being met in relationships.

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Jackie11


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Pinkchip mentioned some post links, here is one that I really appreciate

http://alanon.activeboard.com/t40030392/toxic-love/

Sending you support. Be gentle with yourself.

 



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GreenerGrass


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Wow, I really see myself as the toxic one here. Thank you for that list.

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Jerry F


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This is a very good example of "the courage to change the things I can"...I also had to learn how to "DO" rather than just "KNOW" and when I learned how to "DO" I was grateful for my growth.   I didn't have to apply this to a male perp but a female one...my wife...who when I let her take everything she could...she did.   Sadness for sure except when you're growing in recovery.  HP likes it also.   ((((hugs)))) smile



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