The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Ok .. I thought I was ready to switch over to a whole month however not yet .. lol. Maybe at 8 weeks I will feel better about it.
Long and short of things, my worst fear happened and I had a light bulb moment that I"m going to be ok. The kids are going to be ok too. The kids have been what I'm really struggling with, will they be ok? They are amazing people. Every Tuesday morning their day starts at 530am and goes untli after 8pm. They only know that it's for me, it's my 12 hour day of recovery. They don't complain, fuss at me .. they fuss a little at each other .. lol .. I'm ok with that .. (that's my fav line in The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything, .. my mother was a caterpillar, my father was a worm .. and I'm ok with that.)
That is the best feeling in the world. I don't know what the future holds. I have a two year plan and I feel good about that part of the deal. I have goals, big things, little things none the less things where I can focus on just today and things to kind of dream about as well. I do believe while it's important to live in the now .. everyone needs to have a dream too.
I heard a great share today that a scientist made a telescope and they took a picture of the center of the universe and guess what .. my image wasn't in it.
It made me def go hmmm .. lol. Gotta think long and hard about that one!
Lots and lots of light bulb moments and I am so grateful for my family here on MIP and in the rooms of alanon. My family keeps growing and that is beyond awesome. I still have that invisible "do not enter" sign around my neck .. that has been a little frustrating .. I still feel like I'm sending out a vibe of don't talk to me. Or maybe I'm coming off less than real .. I don't know .. I've never been good at groups so I'm def out of my comfort zone .. I keep reaching out and I've guess it's the best I've got.
Big things happening and that have happened, .. I'm grateful to be here and grateful for a 12 step program to guide me through the steps. Alice is getting ready for another return and that rabbit hole is another 12 inches from my feet. I can feel the slide, this time my arms are up over my head and I'm riding the wave, and they say Mr Toad's Wild Ride is where it's at.
Thanks for letting me share hugs P :)
__________________
Stepping onto a brand-new path is difficult, but not more difficult than remaining in a situation, which is not nurturing to the whole woman.- Maya Angelo
P - you've always been such a big supporter of me (and lots of others!!) Here's sending support to you. Glad you are posting and sharing... You always bring a smile to my day!
LOL, I wish I could enjoy my trip down the rabbit hole like you seem to be! Thanks for sharing, Pushka! You're doing great. I wish I had that do not enter sign, I share too much and then wonder why I didn't have someone insert my foot into my mouth for me. UGH. You're still growing so be patient with yourself. I can't believe it's been 4 weeks, I guess my own issues have been making time fly for me, too!? Sending you lots of cyber hugs today!
i can relate so much except I think my sign says beware! I am starting step 8 with my sponsor and it is hard to face the cold hard facts about ourselves sometimes, but so great to be okay with being human. I am opening myself up to letting go of resentments from my exAH and his parents, which sets me in a weird place. I am glad to be sharing my journey with you! Sending you love and support!
__________________
Sending you love and support on your journey always! BreakingFree
Al-Anon/Alateen Family Group Headquarters, Inc. 800-344-2666
" Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional."
"Serenity is when your body and mind are in the same place."
My image is not there either. have to remind myself of that. I painted tonight for the first time in a long time.. it felt nice to do something just to do it.. not for any recognition or approval.. just to do it. Thanks for sharing your journey, Pushka.
__________________
Michelle!
No one can take away your peace of mind unless you let them.
I like the image of the "do not enter sign". I have that on sometimes too, and I am really making an effort, little by little, to to let it go at meetings and think of how I can reach out to someone who may benefit from my esh. I have a longstanding desire, from way back, to wanting to belong and always feeling not good enough. I sometimes pray before meetings to my HP to remind me that its not all about me, so I can be there for others. Sometimes I can be. Sometimes I still just hightail it...big hug as you continue your journey!
