The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I went to my second therapy session and before I went in I thought "why am I here." After talking for a while I realized I am here- for me. I want to feel stronger for me. I know that I am often intiminated in many relatonships. When any type of conflict occurs I often pretend its not happening or I awkardly talk right over the nasty remark or put down.
Although, my husband has a drinking problem, itis not him that is ever nasty, it is usually members of his family. I often feel dismissed or simply that they are not interested. Very often when his family needs support or need to talk; I am the one they will talk to. Yet, the same support and kindness its not reciprocated. (unless it has something with my husband- (their brother) I will be exploring how much I want to invest in the future, how not to take things personally, and finding a comfortable place for me. How to continue to be myself.
I will contimue al anon, my readings, and therapy. Emil ( please send some feedback)
I will continue Al-Anon...etc. That is the very best support you can give yourself emil. It is very often about self love and self caring which is not the same as vanity and egotism and false pride. It's your responsibility. That was a very foreign concept for me when I got into Al-Anon and then....I got it!! Yay. (((((hugs))))) you're doing good stuff for yourself.
I very much identify with the lack of reciprocity. Many people in my life will call me for "therapy," but the favor is rarely returned.
Families can be very difficult. My ex-huband's family didn't like me very much, and it was obvious. It hurt like heck bc normally moms are my "thing".
I tried everything to make it work, but I personally found that I was working to change/deal with the very powerful family of origin. It was a major factor in our divorce.
You could set boundaries with them. If they are not healthy people to be around, then maybe be around them/talk to them as little as possible. Just remember, your relationship is not just with your BF, it is and will always be also with his family.
If you are wondering how much to invest into the future: look at the problems you are having now & ask yourself if this is really what you want for your life. Xoxo
Thanks for the feedback. It is some what confusing with my husbands family. There are times when its easy and fun. Although, most of the time its on their terms. I feel confused when it is important for us to spend time together, but then when I go I am often dismissed; unless they have a direct interest. I think if I continue to find out myself, the family will have less power. The important goal for me is to be true to myself.
